Saturday of Silliness

My family and I are unashamed Phineas and Ferb fans. And I am always partial to the Heinz Doofenshmirtz storyline. Maybe it is his whimsical style of trying to take over the world or maybe there is some evil scientist element within me that is always trying to think of ways to take over something. I've even already have plans for a costume complete with a working "-inator" for this year whenever the need arises. Anyway, below is a series of Facebook posts that started off simply enough, but escalated quickly. Why post these here? Just because it was too silly and sometimes I crack myself up (even if I am the only one in the room).

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Feeling very Heinz Doofenshmirtz-y this morning. ***sits down to draw up plans for a Squidgeemcdiggit-inator 
'MUAHAHAHAHAHA 

Ahh Perry the Platypus... What a remarkable entrance. And by that I mean totally MARKABLE! See, I thought you would land here as you crashed through the sliding glass door. Look, I even drew in your fancy 3 point stance. And now I have you in my traaAAaap.

BEHOLD!!! My Squidgeemcdiggit-inator! You see Perry the Platypus, just the other day I was talking with this grocery bagger guy at the check out line. You know the type... plays tetris with your groceries to get them in the bags, but this guy isn't very good at it and only puts like 3 things in each bag and tries to make up for it by being overtly friendly and talkative in hopes that you won't notice. Well, he was using these 5 dollar words, when a 10 cent word would do. You know, words that sound like real words but no one knows what they are... Like they got that Word-a-day calendar for Christmas and have been memorizing it since then so they would sound more intelligent than they really are. I hate those guys! So I created THIS... The Squidgeemcdiggit-Inator! It causes people to make up words and use them over and over in conversation! Soon everyone will be using words that no one will understand, and in the ensuing communication break down and chaos I will take over the Northern Virginia, DC, Maryland AREA! It's sort of like the tri-state area, but only larger.

And now my semi-aquatic egg laying mammal of action friend, I only need to point the Squidgeemcdiggit-inator out of sliding glass door, you so conveniently broke on your way in. Seriously, next time just knock or something. And then I pull this lever and I will shoot green bolts of linguistic confoundity all over the place AND the internet. Social media will be agasp with all the confusing words from people during the day!

***points the Squidgeemcdiggit-inator out the sliding glass door. 
AND NOW, I will just put this on an automatic random firing pattern... 
***pulls lever
PEW PEW PEW...
and now Perry the Platypus, I am off to the dentist. Good oral hygiene is an essential quality of a tyrannical ruler. And I need a haircut. You can never go too far with personal grooming. Have fun trying to escape from that elaborate necktie trap I have you ensconced within.
***leaves the room

Oh, hello Perry the Platypus. I forgot you were even here. I see you are still stuck in those neckties. That one is particularly obnoxious. It's the Eldritch Knot. I don't know what connection it has with H.P. Lovecraft, but it makes you look like Cthuhlu with your fingers all stuck around your chin like that. 
***PEW PEW PEW out the broke glass door.
AHh, I see that my Squidgeemcdiggit-inator is still functioning properly. 
***An android steps into the room
What is it Virgil? ...
No, you may not invite your squidgeemcdiggit robot cousin Norm over.
No, I don't care if he needs your technique of making Cheeseballs.
What do you mean he is on the phone? Just tell him then! 
NO NO He can't come over. 
Tell him to tell Heinz I say, "Hello, and that I love that Youtube thing he's been doing. 
Perry, do you need to tell Heinz anything?
Is that noise even a word? OH WAIT A SECOND... has my -inator worked on you too??? MUAHAHAHAHAHA

***PEW PEW PEW
Hey Perry the Platypus, it's really cold outside. How about I make us some nice warm macaroni and cheese? Perry the Platypus? Hey... Where did you g-
***WHACK, PUNCH, KICK
Hey cut that out... OW! Stop that!
***Doobie Doobie Doo Ba Doobie Doobie Doo
Seriously! OW. Your foot is in my face!
***A thrown fedora sails through the air
NONONO Not the self destruct button!
***BOOOOOOM!
Curse you Perry the Platypus!
***Agent P
Ahh Squidgeemcdiggit.

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There you have it... if you've read this far and are wondering who is this guy, read some of the other posts to get a better picture. A more serious post is on it's way; I just wanted to share this one while the giggles were still in the air.