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Saturday of Silliness

1/19/2014

 
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My family and I are unashamed Phineas and Ferb fans. And I am always partial to the Heinz Doofenshmirtz storyline. Maybe it is his whimsical style of trying to take over the world or maybe there is some evil scientist element within me that is always trying to think of ways to take over something. I've even already have plans for a costume complete with a working "-inator" for this year whenever the need arises. Anyway, below is a series of Facebook posts that started off simply enough, but escalated quickly. Why post these here? Just because it was too silly and sometimes I crack myself up (even if I am the only one in the room).


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Feeling very Heinz Doofenshmirtz-y this morning. ***sits down to draw up plans for a Squidgeemcdiggit-inator 
'MUAHAHAHAHAHA 

Ahh Perry the Platypus... What a remarkable entrance. And by that I mean totally MARKABLE! See, I thought you would land here as you crashed through the sliding glass door. Look, I even drew in your fancy 3 point stance. And now I have you in my traaAAaap.

BEHOLD!!! My Squidgeemcdiggit-inator! You see Perry the Platypus, just the other day I was talking with this grocery bagger guy at the check out line. You know the type... plays tetris with your groceries to get them in the bags, but this guy isn't very good at it and only puts like 3 things in each bag and tries to make up for it by being overtly friendly and talkative in hopes that you won't notice. Well, he was using these 5 dollar words, when a 10 cent word would do. You know, words that sound like real words but no one knows what they are... Like they got that Word-a-day calendar for Christmas and have been memorizing it since then so they would sound more intelligent than they really are. I hate those guys! So I created THIS... The Squidgeemcdiggit-Inator! It causes people to make up words and use them over and over in conversation! Soon everyone will be using words that no one will understand, and in the ensuing communication break down and chaos I will take over the Northern Virginia, DC, Maryland AREA! It's sort of like the tri-state area, but only larger.

And now my semi-aquatic egg laying mammal of action friend, I only need to point the Squidgeemcdiggit-inator out of sliding glass door, you so conveniently broke on your way in. Seriously, next time just knock or something. And then I pull this lever and I will shoot green bolts of linguistic confoundity all over the place AND the internet. Social media will be agasp with all the confusing words from people during the day!

***points the Squidgeemcdiggit-inator out the sliding glass door. 
AND NOW, I will just put this on an automatic random firing pattern... 
***pulls lever
PEW PEW PEW...
and now Perry the Platypus, I am off to the dentist. Good oral hygiene is an essential quality of a tyrannical ruler. And I need a haircut. You can never go too far with personal grooming. Have fun trying to escape from that elaborate necktie trap I have you ensconced within.
***leaves the room

Oh, hello Perry the Platypus. I forgot you were even here. I see you are still stuck in those neckties. That one is particularly obnoxious. It's the Eldritch Knot. I don't know what connection it has with H.P. Lovecraft, but it makes you look like Cthuhlu with your fingers all stuck around your chin like that. 
***PEW PEW PEW out the broke glass door.
AHh, I see that my Squidgeemcdiggit-inator is still functioning properly. 
***An android steps into the room
What is it Virgil? ...
No, you may not invite your squidgeemcdiggit robot cousin Norm over.
No, I don't care if he needs your technique of making Cheeseballs.
What do you mean he is on the phone? Just tell him then! 
NO NO He can't come over. 
Tell him to tell Heinz I say, "Hello, and that I love that Youtube thing he's been doing. 
Perry, do you need to tell Heinz anything?
Is that noise even a word? OH WAIT A SECOND... has my -inator worked on you too??? MUAHAHAHAHAHA

***PEW PEW PEW
Hey Perry the Platypus, it's really cold outside. How about I make us some nice warm macaroni and cheese? Perry the Platypus? Hey... Where did you g-
***WHACK, PUNCH, KICK
Hey cut that out... OW! Stop that!
***Doobie Doobie Doo Ba Doobie Doobie Doo
Seriously! OW. Your foot is in my face!
***A thrown fedora sails through the air
NONONO Not the self destruct button!
***BOOOOOOM!
Curse you Perry the Platypus!
***Agent P
Ahh Squidgeemcdiggit.


There you have it... if you've read this far and are wondering who is this guy, read some of the other posts to get a better picture. A more serious post is on it's way; I just wanted to share this one while the giggles were still in the air.

Has it really been 3 months?!?

1/1/2014

 
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I knew it had been a while, but man, those months went by quick. 
Anyway, being in a new year and all, I was simultaneously cleaning up some files, making lists, envisioning the upcoming year, and I stumbled upon a blog post I never finished that sort of coincided with my planning for the new year. 
  "My wife and I are reading A.W. Tozer's Pursuit of God and it's got me thinking about how we approach Bible study. He really tries to get the reader to think beyond simply having a correct understanding of God and move to a place of deeper driving desire to be closer in relationship with Him. This prompts me to adjust how I tend to teach in Bible study. 4 questions to 5..."
  Poorly written, I know (that's why it stayed in the draft folder so long) but it still resonates with me. See, I am encouraging the church I pastor and my family and friends to read the New Testament by Easter. Not really a tremendous feat of academia by any stretch of the imagination, but you would be surprised how many evangelical, Bible toting Christians out there have never read the New Testament to completion (let alone the whole Bible). Along with directing them towards this goal, I am sure to mention to let The Holy Spirit enlighten the reading, and I also usually give 4 questions to help facilitate the study of The Word to help those who merely read it and move on with their day. 
  1) What did I learn about God from the passage, 2) What did I learn about man or myself, 3) Is there a sin to avoid, and 4) Is there a commandment to follow. These questions help guide the reading into a thoughtful inquiring time that is sure to help enrich time spent with The Lord; though in retrospect they are quite antiseptic, clinical, admittedly... a little dry. I still stand by them though and encourage you to ask these same questions during your time in God's Word. But I think, thanks to Tozer, I will start adding a 5th question.
   5) How does God expect your relationship with Him to flourish because of these verses?
   This, I think, should be a natural expectation even before we open the pages and set our eyes on the first words. That we are excited at the possibility of an ever deepening trust, understanding, love, reverence, etc. due to the time we are spending with Him. I know that this last bit is worded awkwardly, but how can you put your finger on what an all powerful God can do? It will be a different kind of excitement for different people at different times. The point is, that a byproduct of our time spent with God should be a desire for deeper commitment toward Him in whatever way The Spirit directs us.
  May 2014 bring you exponentially closer to Him who created and redeemed you. Read your Bible. Try getting the whole story of Christ in before Easter. His Birth, His Early Church, and His Return.

Luke 10:41-42 But the Lord answered and said to her, “Martha, Martha, you are worried and bothered about so many things; but only one thing is necessary, for Mary has chosen the good part, which shall not be taken away from her.”

    Jason Ritz

    Serving through love and laughter is a great way to live.

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