The word that made me cry

When was the last time you cried because of a single word?  Were they happy tears or sad tears?  This morning, on my commute to work, I was listening to music and looking out the bus window and I began to think about a phone conversation from the night before.  I went over it in my mind and ended up misty-eyed.  Not because of the conversation, but because of a single word uttered by the caller.  

The word was "unanimous."  What?! Not bringing you to tears too?  Perhaps I should explain.  My husband went through the interview process for an interim-pastoral position at a church in our area the past few months and it went very well.  All along the way we were encouraged and the pastor search team seemed to be encouraged as well.  When you apply for a job at a church in our denomination, however, the committee doesn't typically get the final say.  It is the committee's job to present their best candidate to the church as a whole.  The church then takes a vote about whether or not to hire that candidate.  Can I confess something to you?  The process intimidates me.  This is the second time Jason has made it through to the voting-part of the process with a church and both times made me uneasy.  I inevitably flash back to high school where I ran for student body office positions every year and never got voted in.  I was never turned down for something that I had any control over... If I wanted to be on the honor roll, I worked hard and made the honor roll.  If I wanted to be on the cheerleading squad, I practiced until I made it.  If I wanted a summer job, I showed up in a suit or dress, respectfully asked for an application and proved that I would be a good employee, and I got the job.  But when everything came down to an anonymous vote... it never worked out for me.  

The last time Jason went through to the church-vote-stage of a hiring process, the vote came back as 83% "for" and 17% "against" (if I remember correctly).  I remember where we were when we got that call as well and how it gave us both a moment of pause and deep concern.  Who were the 17%?  Would they be angry if he accepted the job?  Would they make ministry difficult?  Did we really want to walk into a position knowing that, right off the bat, 17% didn't think it was a good fit?

Fast forward to this morning.  As I sat on the bus and replayed the phone conversation with one of this new church's elders from the night before, as he said "The vote was unanimous, we would like Jason to be our interim pastor," my mind singled-in on that one word, "unanimous," and I started to cry silent, happy tears, surrounded by a bus full of strangers.  

One can certainly minister for many years in a church that didn't vote him or her in unanimously, and conversely, just because a vote IS unanimous doesn't mean that there aren't those who aren't 100% on-board but just didn't want to rock the boat by voting against the majority.  The point of this post isn't about church voting policies or the sometimes  gut-wrenching process of finding a ministry position in the United States.  The point is - there is tremendous, encouraging power in being accepted, 100% accepted.  It is even more encouraging to be accepted when you have been 100% yourself.

I am reading a devotional book right now by Angie Smith entitled, "Mended."  In it, she quotes the following from the book, Chasing Francis: A Pilgrim's Tale,
 "'Do you know the story of Rabbi Zusya?' he asked.  'He was a Chasidic master who lived in the 1700s.  One day he said, 'When I get to the heavenly court, God will not ask me, 'Why weren't you Moses?'  Rather, he will ask me, 'Why were you not Zusya?' " 
The quote goes on to say,
"Churches should be places where people come to hear the story of God and to tell their own.  That's how we find out how the two relate.  Tell your story with all of its shadows and fog, so people can understand their own.  They want a leader who's authentic, someone trying to figure out how to follow the Lord Jesus in the joy and wreckage of life.  They need you, not Moses."

What an encouragement to be 100% fully who God made you to be.  Sometimes you will be accepted as such and other times you won't.  Sometimes it will be unanimous and other times it will be more like 83%-17%.  Regardless, God didn't call you to be anything other than who you are.

Today I am thankful that, this time, it was unanimous, and I am also asking God to remind me that it has always been that way with Him where I am concerned.  He knows me fully and is unanimously for me.  Totally undeserved and completely phenomenal!  

Romans 8:28-31 "And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose. For whom He foreknew, He also predestined to be conformed to the image of His Son, that He might be the firstborn among many brethren. Moreover whom He predestined, these He also called; whom He called, these He alos justified; and whom He justified, these He also glorified. What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?"  

Psalm 139
1 You have searched me, Lord,
    and you know me.
2 You know when I sit and when I rise;
    you perceive my thoughts from afar.
3 You discern my going out and my lying down;
    you are familiar with all my ways.
4 Before a word is on my tongue
    you, Lord, know it completely.
5 You hem me in behind and before,
    and you lay your hand upon me.
6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
    too lofty for me to attain.

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