Election Day - Pull Up a Chair

Today is the day Americans will finish voting and the ballots will begin to be counted.  No matter what the outcome, there will be millions of disappointed, angry, fearful people when the dust settles. Millions.  If that doesn't make us uncomfortable, it should.

In families, we do our best to find ways to make sure everyone's needs and wants are accommodated, or at the very least considered.

• When Jason and I go out to eat, one of us offers three restaurants to choose from and the other person makes the final selection. 
• When we have been blessed to go on vacations to new places, we make a master list of all the things each of us wants to do or see while we are away and then each of us picks a single thing from the list that we will be sure to do together. It makes it easier to do the things that we aren't as excited about because we know that our #1 activity will also be on the itinerary. 
• At Christmas, we take turns opening gifts and we do our best to make sure that everyone has a similar number of packages to open.  
• When we make our budget, we allocate a small amount of "mad money" for each person so that during the month we each have a little bit of freedom to spend on the things that we uniquely enjoy and value without having to consult or please anyone else, and without having to justify our purchases.

These habits give breathing room in our family, space to be ourselves, space to celebrate each other's uniqueness without judgement, a sense of an equal playing field and mutual concern. They also keep peace - they serve as a release valve for our selfish tendencies.

In our country, it feels as though no such habits or release valves exist.  One "side" gets what it wants and the other just has to suck it up for four years, or fight back and resist through those four years so as not to lose too much ground. And then we begin all over again.  It is exhausting for everyone.  We don't view ourselves as a family with unique thoughts, wants and needs. Instead, we view the country as "us" and "them," so there are few concessions made.  Personally, I crave leadership that unites, that sees every citizen as part of the American family and understands how to create national habits that demonstrate collective care, especially surrounding the issues that most divide us. 

A colleague reminded me yesterday that, "Where someone stands is because of where they sit."  Meaning: the causes we stand up for, the things that make us raise our voices are due to the unique perspective we have based on where and how we live our lives and what we are surrounded by (where we sit).  In the days ahead, as we see people STAND for things that make us uncomfortable, may we consider what it must be like to sit where they SIT. Even better, may we ask to sit with them, listen and learn. We needn't wait for the right charismatic national leader to emerge for us to drop the rope and take steps away from the exhausting tug-of-war that we find ourselves engaged in.

​Philippians 2:4 (ESV), "Let each of you look, not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others."