1. 5 Year Old: "This book is full of nothing but good news." (She was holding up a New Testament)
Her 6 Year Old Sister: "Umm... Jesus getting killed cause I was naughty is NOT good news."
2. "I love cats! I just can't eat a whole one by myself."
3. "Going running after work, if anyone would like to join me. Warning: I have not run for years, I will be going slow and whining the whole time."
4. Five Year Old Boy: "Girls are all scared of scary stuff. All they like is princesses and beautiful flowers. That's no way to be."
5. "Confession: When your kids show up trick-or-treating in broad daylight, hours before dusk, I secretly judge you as helicopter parents.
6. I once told a teacher I wouldn't participate in an embarrassing Folkloric dance in Spanish class because I was Baptist.
7. Watching my daughter try and open a child-proofed bottle. "I am a grown-up" she shouts at it. Then looks up at me guiltily. "I lied to it. I just wanted it to open."
8. "Crawlspace" is such a poorly named part of my house. It's the last space I want to crawl. It should be called "Spidertown Jamboree."
9. ENOUGH WITH THE HOME REPAIRS. All I can guess is that our house was built in 1973, and almost 40 years later, it is tired. Come to think of it, I know exactly how the house feels. I can relate to it on many, many levels. (this wasn't from FB or Twitter, but rather from boomama.net, but I couldn't help but include it.)
10. Dad: "Not sure what I'll be for Halloween this year. I've never been anything scary." Son: "You were Justin Bieber two years ago.....THAT was pretty scary."