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Carla's Blog

the power of your story

7/29/2014

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Today I read this story about a young man in Belize whose life was radically changed by people loving him and encouraging him when his own parents abandoned him at the age of 12.  I was moved by the way I saw God's hand in his life as he described the twists and turns that led him to the place of gratitude and hope where he is now. I can imagine that it took courage for him to write his story down and that there were probably times where he doubted whether he should or not.  Sometimes something means an awful lot to us, but we have doubts about whether or not it would mean much to others.  It is disconcerting to share our stories when others may discount their value or weight.  Earlier this week I read two different accounts written by fathers who lost a child.  One to a stillbirth and the other to a tragic car accident at age five.  Both commented that they were hesitant to share their stories.  They were concerned about somehow cheapening the weight of their experiences with their own clumsy words and even worse, laying them out there for others to criticize or judge - not just their writing, but their very motives for writing in the first place. 

I am thankful that each of these people chose to tell their story.  SO thankful.  I am drawn to stories.  True stories.  Biographies, autobiographies, historical sketches, blogs, I want to read them all.  To me, this is the stuff of life.

In Shauna Niequist's book, "Bittersweet," she writes this, "There are myths that we tend to believe about our stories: the first is that they're about us; they don't matter. But they're not only about us, and they matter more than ever right now. When we, any of us who have been transformed by Christ, tell our own stories, we're telling the story of who God is... My life is not a story about me. And your life is not a story about you. My life is a story about who God is and what he does in a human heart."

Let's be brave and tell His story about our lives - about what He has brought us through and what He is walking with us in today and where He seems to be leading us. And let's not be quick to judge when others share their stories.  There are things to learn about God and what He is doing in the world bound up inside each and every person we meet - my bus driver, the woman I pass in the city each day holding a cardboard sign, your son's swim team coach, the mail carrier, my neighbor, the telemarketer.  Perhaps if we saw each other that way, if we saw ourselves that way, we'd approach each other with a bit more grace and dignity, and we'd dive deeper into the the greatest story ever told.

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Resting in Routine or Relationship?

8/11/2013

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When our son was a toddler, we learned a nifty parenting trick.  After suffering through meltdown after meltdown whenever it was time to transition from one activity to the next, we discovered that if we gave our son a 5 or 10 minute warning before the transition was about to happen, the meltdowns were a thing of the past.  "Tim, it will be time to help clean up toys and say goodbye in ten minutes."  "Tim, dinner will be in five minutes, so get ready to stop your video." As long as he knew what was coming and when, he could cope.  When he had time to wrap things up or finish on his own terms, he was golden.  If the meltdown wasn't completely averted, it was at least lessened in severity.

Don't you wish we had the luxury of those kinds of warnings in life as adults.  "Carla, in six months you will not be living here any more and you'll have to start over."  "Carla, within the year, that person that you are so attached to will pass away."  "Carla, in the next week someone in your family will become ill."  Just a little warning, wouldn't that be nice?  Just a little heads up so we can wrap our minds around what is coming and finish or adjust on our own terms. 

The thing is, these little advance warnings weren't the most valuable things we could offer our son.  Yes, they made life a little more bearable in the moment, especially as he was making his way through those toddler years, but it was never meant to be a way of life.  After all, we wouldn't always have a warning ourselves.  Sometimes we would need to make a transition with little to no warning and we would need him to trust us and spring into action before his emotions could catch up.  What we really wanted him to learn were things like - Your Mom and Dad love you and we are in charge.  We know what is best and we are working with an agenda that includes more than your immediate happiness, things you just aren't prepared to understand yet.  The more you trust us, the more you will see that we have your best interest at heart.  We may ask you to do some things that you do not want to do, but it is never out of cruelty.  At the end of the day, what we really wanted him to learn to do was to rest in our trustworthiness, and to respond based on our relationship not on an attachment to an established, predictable routine.

The same is true with our walk through life.  The routine will inevitably vary, so putting our trust in things always being the way they have been in the past is foolish.  Many times God will orchestrate situations in such a way as to soften the blows of painful change.  Other times, however, we will be called upon to simply respond in faith-filled obedience, when there is no resemblance of the normal routine anywhere in sight, no promise of how things will be resolved or how long the transition to a new normal will take.

In the end, through the pages of scripture, I have been given three things that are of greater value than a glimpse into the immediate future:

  1. I have been given a glimpse into eternity. "And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am." John 14:3
  2. I have been given a guarantee never to walk alone.  "Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.” Deuteronomy 31:6
  3. I have been given a promise of God's unending love. "For God so loved the world, that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life." John 3:16

At the end of the day, this is what has been offered to me and it is what I have to offer the world.  It isn't a safe, predictable routine, it is a relationship with the One who created all of us and has a vested interest in our future.  It isn't an advance warning system of difficult changes that lie ahead and it isn't a promise that life will be easy or pain-free.  It is the message of the gospel and it is enough.

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James Chapter Two - Part Two, Faith & Works

7/5/2009

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"Come on, Timmy, just taste your broccoli.  It is so good for you.  It will make your body healthy and strong like superman!  It doesn't taste bad either.  Here, you can dip it in this dressing and it will be delicious!"  Does this sound familiar to you?  Either you were the child who hated to eat something, or you are the parent trying to convince your child to eat something... it is, without a doubt, a familiar scene. 

When I became a mom, one of the first things I realized was that I wanted a better life for my son.  Not that my life stunk... far from it.  But I have my foibles and I really didn't want to pass those on to my child if I could help it.  For example, I am not a big animal lover.  I am not cruel to animals, but I don't want to spend my life caring for them.  A petting zoo is not my idea of a great time.  Well, when Timmy was about 2 years old we were renting a house in the country where the landlords lived on the same piece of property as we did.  They had two dogs, a few chickens, a rooster, and goats.  Well, one spring when the goats had their kids, I determined that I was going to give Timmy a fair shot at being an animal lover.  He didn't need to lose out on the wonder and enjoyment that so many people possess when it comes to furry and feathered creatures just because I didn't see the allure.  So, I walked him out to the back yard.  I was so bold - I almost fooled myself.  I walked right up to the baby goats' pen and reached through the wire and started petting them.  All the while, coaxing Timmy to come over and do the same.  I insisted that the goats were nice, cute, and oh what fun it was to pet them.  Timmy stood about 15 feet away and watched me skeptically.  (Could he have already figured me out at the age of 2???)  I kept up the charade, petting the goats one by one and smiling real big while encouraging Timmy to come closer.  About this time, I noticed that one of the baby goats - an ugly one with one blue eye and one brown eye and a spotted coat - kept butting the others out of the way and forcing himself to the front of the line to be petted.  Being a mother of a toddler, I was well versed in the importance of taking turns and I actually scolded the little goat - out loud - for being so rude and told him that I wouldn't be petting him again until he stopped.  After a couple of minutes this little goat, figured out that I was refusing to pet him and decided to go about it another way.  He started testing the fence for weak spots.  Uh Oh.  As you might guess, he eventually succeeded and escaped from the pen.  He came right over to me ready to receive the petting he had been denied.  I was shocked and Timmy was terrified.  I decided it was even more important now to keep up the animal loving charade so that Timmy wouldn't be scarred for life by my fearful reaction to an escaped baby goat!  So without hesitating, I picked up that goat and put him right back in the pen.  Timmy was nearing hysterics at this point.  Crying and starting to back farther and farther away from me and the goats.  I started to head over to him, to scoop him up in my arms and reassure him, but right when I did that little goat jumped out of the pen again and came toward me.  Well, now I am facing a real dilemna.  You see, these aren't just pet goats... these are our landlords' bread and butter.  They sell these special goats for a pretty penny every year and now I am faced with the problem of caring for my own precious child and their precious goats.  I scooped up the goat again and put it back in the pen, but by now the other goats had caught on they had formed a line and were jumping out of the hole in the pen one after another and coming over to me to join in the game.  Timmy was freaking out and moving farther and farther away from me, as I kept calling out reassurances and acting like it was all some fun game.  I was picking up those goats and putting them back in the pen as fast as they were coming out - imagine Ethel and Lucy eating those chocolates as they came off the assembly line, unable to keep up - that was me.  Timmy finally picked up on my panic and took off running in the opposite direction.  That is when the choice became obvious and I abandoned the goats and my one attempt at convincing my child to be an animal lover, and ran after him, leaving the goats to fend for themselves.  I caught him and we went to the landlord's house and knocked on the door.  PRAISE THE LORD she was home!!!!  She came out and saved the day.  Timmy never went back to play with those goats again and neither did I.  The charade was over.

Now picture that child again refusing to eat something new...  if they don't see the rewards of eating that food, you can talk till you are blue in the face and you'll never convince them to try it.  They can see thru a con job a mile away.  =o)  It wasn't until Timmy saw me eating broccoli and enjoying it on my own (without trying to prove something to him) that he decided to taste and see for himself. 

That is what I pictured when I read James 2:14-26.  A profession of faith doesn't necessarily mean a possession of faith.  An intellectual belief in God's existence without a response to that belief - repentance and reliance - is not faith at all.  This is what James is talking about when he says that a stated faith without the works to back it up is dead, worthless.  God sees through it as fast as my kiddo saw thru my charade of being an animal lover or as fast as the child you are trying to convince to eat broccoli notices that you aren't exactly chomping at the bit to eat your own broccoli! 

At some point, we have to act on our stated belief.  If I say I believe that a particular chair will hold me if I sit in it... but then I never sit in it.  Do I really believe anything at all?  My belief certainly isn't doing me any good, and it certainly isn't inspiring others to share that belief.  In fact, the more I sit in that chair, and the more it continues to hold me up, the stronger my belief will grow and the more credible I become.  In James 2:22 it says, "You see that faith was working with his works and as a result of the works, faith was perfected."  They go together - faith and works.  One strengthens the other and vice versa, but if we get hung up on one and become imbalanced then both become weak and our witness suffers just as we suffer. 

God help me to be someone who isn't afraid to put my faith to the test - to step out and act on all that I believe in.  Help me to trust you enough that I will step out and do something with all that you have taught me, so that when I look back and others are following my example - I will know that I am not leading them astray.  The truth was, God, that I didn't really want Timmy to become a true animal lover - because that would have necessitated a change in my behavior in order to facilitate that desire in his life.  I was holding back and he could sense it.  May NO ONE hold back in their walk with you God, because of a hesitancy they sense in me by the way I live my life!!!! 

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    Carla Ritz.  Proof positive that God uses cracked pots!

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