Every so often, things get a little too serious.  Am I right?  In those moments, I go back to Facebook and Twitter and look over the last several weeks and find the funniest things my friends, and family, (and strangers for that matter) have posted that made me laugh and I compile a top ten list here on the blog to share with this serious world.  You never know when something YOU've posted might show up here!  As always, names have been removed to protect the hilarious.

1. "When having a smackerel of something with a friend, don't eat so much that you get stuck in the doorway trying to get out." Winnie the Pooh

2. My 2nd grader just told me, "Mom, don't bother looking at my homework. You won't be able to understand it."

3. "Some folks don't deserve thumbs."

4. "If you ever got sick from playing a kazoo, it would be a humbug."

5. "You know you have issues when you don't want to use a GPS because you HATE being told what to do."

6. "History will someday explain how, early in the 21st century, all the pastors' wives suddenly became smokin' hot."

7. "I believe the children are our future" -Hopeful song lyric now made depressing because of that Honey Boo Boo show.

8. Mom to 4 of 5 kids: "What r u doing downstairs?" Kids: "Reading where it's quiet & there are no moms yelling at the football game."

9. "Teacher, you look like Britney Spears. But the good version, like before she went crazy and shaved her hair and stuff."

10. A first grader telling her Dad about her soccer game: "A grandma for the other team was yelling, "kick it in the goal!" And I was yelling, "DON'T LISTEN TO GRANDMA!!"

I just finished the first week of a training program that is supposed to get me off the couch and running a 5K (3.1 miles) in nine short weeks.  The first week involves a 25 minute workout that alternates 60 seconds of jogging with 90 seconds of walking, three times per week.  As the program progresses, walking time will decrease and jogging time will increase.  Yikes!

In the spirit of not taking myself or this very minor accomplishment too seriously, here are the top five things I learned prior to 7am today during my 25 minutes of jog/walking:

1. Ants, apparently, get up earlier than I do and are tougher than I am.  As I was stretching at the track before my workout, I noticed little bits of "stuff" moving slowly on the ground beneath my feet.  I realized they were hundreds of tiny ants carrying food-stuffs many times their body weight to an unknown location.  They reminded me that I have a hard enough time carrying my own body weight.  Show offs.

2. An idea of blogging about a Taylor Swift song and relating it to a deep spiritual truth, is probably the runner's high talking.  Mid-way through my jog/walk, I actually had this "brilliant" idea to somehow relate Taylor's single "Our Song" to my relationship with God.  Those endorphins can create CRAZY TALK in your brain, I tell ya.  Beware!

3. The only place it is acceptable for me to wear spandex shorts is at the track at 6:00am when no one else is around.  I think I burned more calories constantly adjusting those crazy shorts  to keep them from sliding down or riding up than I did while actually jogging/walking.  Thank God for long, baggy t-shirts.

4. Getting spiritual while exercising is for the advanced, not the amateur.  Toward the end of my workout, as I finally realized this was going to end (eventually) and wasn't, in fact, going to kill me, I had the bright idea to pray for my friends and family during each of the 90 seconds of walking (praying for myself was all I could manage during the 60 seconds of jogging... more specifically, praying that I'd suck it up and not be a wuss and quit).  Sounds reasonable enough, right, except that when I would pray while I walked I would lose track of time and the 90 seconds of blessed walking would go by too fast or I'd feel gipped somehow or I'd go longer than 90 seconds and mess up the rules of the workout plan (I'm nothing if not a rule follower).  Bah!  #AmateurProblems

5. Having something poking you in your shoe while jogging can make you look insane.  If you were hiding behind a tree or sitting in a car somewhere, or were flying overhead in an airplane, or had concealed yourself in some other way this morning, and you had the misfortune of watching my workout while I thought I was all alone - I apologize and I feel I must explain.  I HAD SOMETHING IN MY SHOE!  All those crazy moves, random kicks and shakes, and the stomping, and toe tapping all while trying to continue moving in a forward direction without falling down, must have made me look a bit off my rocker.  Perhaps I am...

Starting on Friday, I will be jogging for 90 seconds and walking for 2 minutes for a total of 25 minutes a day, three times per week.  Heaven help me!  I'll keep ya posted on the hilarity that ensues and the poignant lessons learned.  I know you're on the edge of your seat.

PS - I love the little girl in the picture above.  I don't know her, but I love her.  I found her on Pinterest.  I am not making fun of her, I am making fun of myself... she is, quite obviously, trying to dodge the bubbles that are about to land on her head and that is serious business indeed.