The Ritzes 3.0
  • Family Update
  • Jason Jabbers
  • Carla's Blog
  • Timotheology
  • Pictures/Videos
  • Contact Us

Carla's Blog

More FB and Twitter laughs

10/9/2012

1 Comment

 
Picture
Every so often, things get a little too serious.  Am I right?  In those moments, I go back to Facebook and Twitter and look over the last several weeks and find the funniest things my friends, and family, (and strangers for that matter) have posted that made me laugh and I compile a top ten list here on the blog to share with this serious world.  You never know when something YOU've posted might show up here!  As always, names have been removed to protect the hilarious.

1. "When having a smackerel of something with a friend, don't eat so much that you get stuck in the doorway trying to get out." Winnie the Pooh

2. My 2nd grader just told me, "Mom, don't bother looking at my homework. You won't be able to understand it."

3. "Some folks don't deserve thumbs."

4. "If you ever got sick from playing a kazoo, it would be a humbug."

5. "You know you have issues when you don't want to use a GPS because you HATE being told what to do."


6. "History will someday explain how, early in the 21st century, all the pastors' wives suddenly became smokin' hot."

7. "I believe the children are our future" -Hopeful song lyric now made depressing because of that Honey Boo Boo show.

8. Mom to 4 of 5 kids: "What r u doing downstairs?" Kids: "Reading where it's quiet & there are no moms yelling at the football game."

9. "Teacher, you look like Britney Spears. But the good version, like before she went crazy and shaved her hair and stuff."

10. A first grader telling her Dad about her soccer game: "A grandma for the other team was yelling, "kick it in the goal!" And I was yelling, "DON'T LISTEN TO GRANDMA!!"

1 Comment

Five Things Learned Before 7am

6/20/2012

3 Comments

 
Picture
I just finished the first week of a training program that is supposed to get me off the couch and running a 5K (3.1 miles) in nine short weeks.  The first week involves a 25 minute workout that alternates 60 seconds of jogging with 90 seconds of walking, three times per week.  As the program progresses, walking time will decrease and jogging time will increase.  Yikes!

In the spirit of not taking myself or this very minor accomplishment too seriously, here are the top five things I learned prior to 7am today during my 25 minutes of jog/walking:

1. Ants, apparently, get up earlier than I do and are tougher than I am.  As I was stretching at the track before my workout, I noticed little bits of "stuff" moving slowly on the ground beneath my feet.  I realized they were hundreds of tiny ants carrying food-stuffs many times their body weight to an unknown location.  They reminded me that I have a hard enough time carrying my own body weight.  Show offs.

2. An idea of blogging about a Taylor Swift song and relating it to a deep spiritual truth, is probably the runner's high talking.  Mid-way through my jog/walk, I actually had this "brilliant" idea to somehow relate Taylor's single "Our Song" to my relationship with God.  Those endorphins can create CRAZY TALK in your brain, I tell ya.  Beware!

3. The only place it is acceptable for me to wear spandex shorts is at the track at 6:00am when no one else is around.  I think I burned more calories constantly adjusting those crazy shorts  to keep them from sliding down or riding up than I did while actually jogging/walking.  Thank God for long, baggy t-shirts.

4. Getting spiritual while exercising is for the advanced, not the amateur.  Toward the end of my workout, as I finally realized this was going to end (eventually) and wasn't, in fact, going to kill me, I had the bright idea to pray for my friends and family during each of the 90 seconds of walking (praying for myself was all I could manage during the 60 seconds of jogging... more specifically, praying that I'd suck it up and not be a wuss and quit).  Sounds reasonable enough, right, except that when I would pray while I walked I would lose track of time and the 90 seconds of blessed walking would go by too fast or I'd feel gipped somehow or I'd go longer than 90 seconds and mess up the rules of the workout plan (I'm nothing if not a rule follower).  Bah!  #AmateurProblems

5. Having something poking you in your shoe while jogging can make you look insane.  If you were hiding behind a tree or sitting in a car somewhere, or were flying overhead in an airplane, or had concealed yourself in some other way this morning, and you had the misfortune of watching my workout while I thought I was all alone - I apologize and I feel I must explain.  I HAD SOMETHING IN MY SHOE!  All those crazy moves, random kicks and shakes, and the stomping, and toe tapping all while trying to continue moving in a forward direction without falling down, must have made me look a bit off my rocker.  Perhaps I am...

Starting on Friday, I will be jogging for 90 seconds and walking for 2 minutes for a total of 25 minutes a day, three times per week.  Heaven help me!  I'll keep ya posted on the hilarity that ensues and the poignant lessons learned.  I know you're on the edge of your seat.

PS - I love the little girl in the picture above.  I don't know her, but I love her.  I found her on Pinterest.  I am not making fun of her, I am making fun of myself... she is, quite obviously, trying to dodge the bubbles that are about to land on her head and that is serious business indeed.
   

3 Comments

Random

12/20/2011

1 Comment

 
There are always random things that need to be done this time of year in the build up to Christmas morning.  

Always.  

Sometimes they are routine Christmas-time tasks: shopping for stocking stuffers, baking, wrapping gifts, etc.  Other times they are just plain random, end of the year, gotta-get-this-done-or-else things.  I don't know about you, but I am feeling a bit overwhelmed by the random at the moment. 

Here is a glimpse at the random tasks which are nagging at me to get them completed in the next 48 hours (that's right, this blog post is a glorified to do list... you can email me yours if it will make you feel better):
1 - Purchase ingredients and oversee Timmy as he makes his last batch of ice cream of the year.  (Doesn't everyone make homemade ice cream when it is 32 degrees outside?!?!)
2 - Go for a much needed walk with a friend. (Doesn't everyone go for walks when it is 32 degrees outside... and raining?)
3 - Get bids from contractors for a project at work (mmhmmm, the easiest thing in the world is to get building project estimates the week leading up to Christmas...when it is cold... and raining... too bad my friend isn't a contractor... we could have just walked by the office, taken a few measurements, and killed two birds with one stone!)  
4 - Write a grant application, photocopy it 12 times and submit it (for work)  This one is straight-forward.  I like it!
5 - Figure out how a bat got in the house today (not the baseball kind) and make sure it NEVER does again.  *shudder*  
6 - Buy more toothpaste.  We have plenty, but it is the WRONG KIND.  Toothpaste is one of those things I just can't compromise on... It is Crest or nothing, baby.  
7 - Make arrangements to go see "Chipwrecked" with my Timmy.  He's chompin' at the bit, folks.
8 - Make turkey chili, and turkey sloppy joes, and turkey tacos.  (Why oh why did I buy a giant container of ground turkey and then why oh why did I decide to defrost it THIS WEEK when I really don't want to be in the kitchen?)  Anyone want to come over for... turkey?
9 - Return one large mixing bowl, one cookie tin, two pitchers, one tupperware container, 12 hot glue guns, and 12 pairs of scissors to their rightful owners.  I should not be trusted to borrow things, people!
10 - Get the laundry done and put away...  perhaps this isn't a very random task, pretty routine actually, but I couldn't stop at 9 random things... it would have been too random.  Ten is a nice round number! 

Whew!  I didn't get any of these random things done in the last 20 minutes, but I feel better now that it is all typed out.  I'm thankful that in the middle of all of this randomness there are people I adore and blessings I am unworthy of, but so grateful for... a job, friends, a dear son and husband, a home, warm clothes, food, and a faith that gives EVERYTHING meaning.  It's a good, weird, life!  :)
1 Comment

    Author

    Carla Ritz.  Proof positive that God uses cracked pots!

    Twitter

    Archives

    December 2020
    November 2020
    August 2020
    August 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    February 2018
    August 2017
    May 2017
    December 2015
    September 2015
    February 2015
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014
    December 2013
    November 2013
    October 2013
    September 2013
    August 2013
    July 2013
    June 2013
    May 2013
    April 2013
    March 2013
    February 2013
    January 2013
    December 2012
    November 2012
    October 2012
    September 2012
    August 2012
    July 2012
    June 2012
    May 2012
    April 2012
    March 2012
    February 2012
    January 2012
    December 2011
    November 2011
    October 2011
    September 2011
    August 2011
    May 2011
    March 2011
    February 2011
    January 2010
    September 2009
    August 2009
    July 2009
    June 2009
    May 2009
    March 2009
    February 2009
    January 2009

    Categories

    All
    2 Peter
    Adoption
    Amazima
    Armor Of God
    Artistry
    Attitude
    Authenticity
    Avengers
    Baby Boy
    Balance Beam
    Battle
    Bible Study
    Blessings
    Calling
    Christmas
    Commitment
    Compassion
    Contentment
    Conversation
    Conviction
    Cookie Baking
    Creation
    Darkness
    Date
    Date Night
    Depression
    Discipleship
    Do Something
    Do Something
    Emotions
    Encouragement
    Enemy
    Engagement
    Evil
    Evil Thoughts
    Faith
    Family
    Favoritism
    Fear
    Feast
    Foster Care
    Francis Chan
    Friends
    Fruitfulness
    Fun
    Generation Gap
    Giving Up
    Goats
    God
    God's Glory
    God's Glory
    God's Goodness
    God's Sovereignty
    Gods Word
    Good
    Graduation
    Growing Up
    Guest Blog
    Hard Times
    Heaven
    Holy Spirit
    Hope
    Humility
    Intimacy With God
    James
    Jesus Birth
    Katie Davis
    Kisses From Katie
    Laziness
    Leadership
    Letter Writing
    Life
    Light
    Loss
    Love
    Love Your Neighbor
    Lyrics
    Manners
    Marriage
    Mary
    Memories
    Mentoring
    Mom
    Mother
    Motherhood
    Movie
    Movies
    Nose
    Nostril
    Orphan
    P31 Wife
    Parenting
    Patience
    Perseverance
    Prayer
    Premarital Counseling
    Purpose
    Random
    Reality
    Ridiculous Story
    Risks
    Rock Bottom
    Safety
    Self Control
    Self-control
    Service
    Significance
    Silly Story
    Sin
    Smile
    Son
    Speech
    Spelling
    Suffering
    Sweets
    Technology
    Thank You
    Thessalonians
    Timelessness Of God
    Timmy
    Tooth
    Tooth Fairy
    True Love
    Trust
    Truth
    Uganda
    Unchanging God
    Usefulness
    Waiting On The Lord
    War
    Wisdom
    Witness
    Works
    Worthwhile
    Zany

    RSS Feed

Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.
  • Family Update
  • Jason Jabbers
  • Carla's Blog
  • Timotheology
  • Pictures/Videos
  • Contact Us