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Carla's Blog

Black Belt Faith

8/30/2014

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Today we went to a local martial arts studio to see a friend take her black belt certification test in taekwando.  The test lasted two hours. That's two solid hours of swinging nun-chucks, kicks, punches, jumps, push-ups, sparring, proper form, jumping jacks, leg lifts and sweat.  Lots of sweat.  I don't know what I was expecting, but that wasn't it.  It was all about breaking down the candidates physically and pushing them to their absolute limits to see how they respond.  Earning a black belt was more about perseverance than perfection.

I couldn't help but compare the experience to the walk of faith for a Christian.  Here are a few comparisons:
1. The instructors and the spectators were there to cheer the candidates on, to encourage them to go farther and try harder than they would otherwise, and to bear witness to their expected success.  The church is meant to do the same.  1 Thessalonians 5:11 ESV, "Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing."

2. One of the criteria that the candidates were being judged on was attitude.  They could do the entire two hour workout perfectly, but if they refused to bow in respect, respond appropriately to their instructors, and show a level of enthusiasm for what they were doing, they would fail.  The same is true for the Christian. I Corinthians 13:1-3 ESV "If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing."

3. The candidates were expected to yell back their responses to each of the instructors questions.  We were in a small enclosed space and yelling seemed odd, but it was required.  One of the instructors explained to the spectators that the reason they required the candidates to yell was that when you yell, it forces you to inhale deeply afterward, and breathing is one of the most important things for the candidates to do to keep them going.  Rather than telling them to breathe over and over again, they train them to yell and allow the breathing to come naturally.  Sometimes directions from a learned master don't seem to make sense, but we trust in our teacher who knows more than we do.  It is the same for the Christian.  Isaiah 55:8-9 "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord.For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts."

4. Perseverance and stamina over the long haul are key to success.  There will be moments of feeling like you can't go on for every black belt candidate - probably more than one over the course of two hours, but continuing on regardless of feelings, trusting that a second/third/fourth wind will catch up to you if you just press on.  The same is true of the Christian.  James 1:12 ESV, "Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him."

A black belt is just a white belt that never gave up.
A saint is just a saved sinner that persevered in the faith.

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Living with the decisions of others - in 5 steps

6/24/2014

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No man is an island, but man is it ever tempting to try it out sometimes!  There is nothing quite like having to suffer through the consequences of someone else's decision to make you want to bar the doors and windows and give the hermit-life a try.  As long as we live on this planet, we will be effected by the decisions of others.  Sometimes for good, other times not so much.  The same decision-making capability and freedom that God granted you, he also gave to your family members, friends, boyfriend/girlfriend, co-worker, boss, pastor, political leader, and even strangers on the street.  

No matter how hard we try, we cannot control those around us or insulate ourselves from their choices.  So what can be done when we find ourselves tossed in the wake of someone else's decisions?

1. Take a deep breath.  Maybe more than one.
2. Remember that you are responsible for your own actions and reactions, regardless of how you feel or who made you feel that way. One bad decision by someone else doesn't necessitate another from you.
3. Plead with God for a higher perspective and a compassionate heart. It may come right away, but it might not.  Expect it. Wait for it. 
4. Acknowledge the reality of the situation and the greater reality of God's sovereignty and His promise to work everything together for your good (Romans 8:28). Acknowledge it in prayer, in journaling, in a conversation with someone you trust. Keep acknowledging it until you find yourself dwelling more on what He can do than on what was done "to you."
5. Take one step in the right direction.  A step of forgiveness, a step of faith, a step away, a step forward, whatever is the next right thing - do that.  Don't wait too long.

Repeat as needed.

Bonus - #6. Thank God for your own freedom to make decisions and even to make mistakes and learn from them.  Ask Him to help you vividly remember this moment when you next make a decision that will impact those around you.

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#TheKidsNeedToKnow

2/1/2014

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Thanks for the challenge, Kid President!  Here is my son Tim's list of what the kids need to know:

1. Choose chocolate, not vanilla.
2. Do your homework.
3. Wait to get a phone, until you are 16 or 18.
4. Do something nice everyday.
5. Dance!
6. Don't be afraid to ask someone to dance with you.
7. Don't tackle in basketball.
8. Eat stuffing!
9. Laugh! A lot.
10. Be respectful to others.

And here is mine:
1. You might be afraid to try something new, but don't let fear keep you from trying it anyway.  Be brave!
2. Find ways to make boring things more fun.  Turn the hard things into a game.
3. Don't be in a hurry to get to the next cool thing... make sure you've maxed out on all the coolness right where you are at first.  
4. Take good care of your body and ask questions about how it works and what is best for it.  
5. Being a friend is one of the best things ever.  Get to know people really well... not just the basics, but the stuff other people don't know about them.  Everyone needs to be known.
6. Read.  A lot.
7. Be careful about what you let yourself see, hear, touch and do.  
8. Pray.  God is real and he loves you.
9. Always tell the truth.
10. Always say "sorry" and "I forgive you" when you need to.  Quickly and out loud. 
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The word that made me cry

11/18/2013

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When was the last time you cried because of a single word?  Were they happy tears or sad tears?  This morning, on my commute to work, I was listening to music and looking out the bus window and I began to think about a phone conversation from the night before.  I went over it in my mind and ended up misty-eyed.  Not because of the conversation, but because of a single word uttered by the caller.  

The word was "unanimous."  What?! Not bringing you to tears too?  Perhaps I should explain.  My husband went through the interview process for an interim-pastoral position at a church in our area the past few months and it went very well.  All along the way we were encouraged and the pastor search team seemed to be encouraged as well.  When you apply for a job at a church in our denomination, however, the committee doesn't typically get the final say.  It is the committee's job to present their best candidate to the church as a whole.  The church then takes a vote about whether or not to hire that candidate.  Can I confess something to you?  The process intimidates me.  This is the second time Jason has made it through to the voting-part of the process with a church and both times made me uneasy.  I inevitably flash back to high school where I ran for student body office positions every year and never got voted in.  I was never turned down for something that I had any control over... If I wanted to be on the honor roll, I worked hard and made the honor roll.  If I wanted to be on the cheerleading squad, I practiced until I made it.  If I wanted a summer job, I showed up in a suit or dress, respectfully asked for an application and proved that I would be a good employee, and I got the job.  But when everything came down to an anonymous vote... it never worked out for me.  

The last time Jason went through to the church-vote-stage of a hiring process, the vote came back as 83% "for" and 17% "against" (if I remember correctly).  I remember where we were when we got that call as well and how it gave us both a moment of pause and deep concern.  Who were the 17%?  Would they be angry if he accepted the job?  Would they make ministry difficult?  Did we really want to walk into a position knowing that, right off the bat, 17% didn't think it was a good fit?

Fast forward to this morning.  As I sat on the bus and replayed the phone conversation with one of this new church's elders from the night before, as he said "The vote was unanimous, we would like Jason to be our interim pastor," my mind singled-in on that one word, "unanimous," and I started to cry silent, happy tears, surrounded by a bus full of strangers.  

One can certainly minister for many years in a church that didn't vote him or her in unanimously, and conversely, just because a vote IS unanimous doesn't mean that there aren't those who aren't 100% on-board but just didn't want to rock the boat by voting against the majority.  The point of this post isn't about church voting policies or the sometimes  gut-wrenching process of finding a ministry position in the United States.  The point is - there is tremendous, encouraging power in being accepted, 100% accepted.  It is even more encouraging to be accepted when you have been 100% yourself.

I am reading a devotional book right now by Angie Smith entitled, "Mended."  In it, she quotes the following from the book, Chasing Francis: A Pilgrim's Tale,
 "'Do you know the story of Rabbi Zusya?' he asked.  'He was a Chasidic master who lived in the 1700s.  One day he said, 'When I get to the heavenly court, God will not ask me, 'Why weren't you Moses?'  Rather, he will ask me, 'Why were you not Zusya?' " 
The quote goes on to say,
"Churches should be places where people come to hear the story of God and to tell their own.  That's how we find out how the two relate.  Tell your story with all of its shadows and fog, so people can understand their own.  They want a leader who's authentic, someone trying to figure out how to follow the Lord Jesus in the joy and wreckage of life.  They need you, not Moses."

What an encouragement to be 100% fully who God made you to be.  Sometimes you will be accepted as such and other times you won't.  Sometimes it will be unanimous and other times it will be more like 83%-17%.  Regardless, God didn't call you to be anything other than who you are.

Today I am thankful that, this time, it was unanimous, and I am also asking God to remind me that it has always been that way with Him where I am concerned.  He knows me fully and is unanimously for me.  Totally undeserved and completely phenomenal!  

Romans 8:28-31 "And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose. For whom He foreknew, He also predestined to be conformed to the image of His Son, that He might be the firstborn among many brethren. Moreover whom He predestined, these He also called; whom He called, these He alos justified; and whom He justified, these He also glorified. What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?"  

Psalm 139
1 You have searched me, Lord,
    and you know me.
2 You know when I sit and when I rise;
    you perceive my thoughts from afar.
3 You discern my going out and my lying down;
    you are familiar with all my ways.
4 Before a word is on my tongue
    you, Lord, know it completely.
5 You hem me in behind and before,
    and you lay your hand upon me.
6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
    too lofty for me to attain.

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Leap of Faith

10/16/2013

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Whenever someone gets married, we say they are "taking the plunge," or making a "leap of faith."  Everyone recognizes that going into marriage, you can't possibly know everything about the person that you are committing to spend your life with, and yet, we do it anyway.  We admit we don't know it all, but that what we do know is enough.

In the Bible, in the letter to the Hebrews, the 11th chapter and 1st verse, we read that "Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen," and in the sixth verse of the same chapter we learn that "Without faith, it is impossible to please God."  As a parent, this makes complete sense to me: without my son having faith in me, he will never please me.  Never.  His faith in me is the evidence that we have a good relationship, that he acknowledges my love for him and my good intentions toward him.  If he continually questions me and never trustfully relaxes in my presence, how could I ever be pleased with that relationship?  It is the same in our relationship with God, our Father, and rightfully so.  

Similar to marriage, if we have committed to spend our lives with Him, what we do know about Him should be enough.  That doesn't mean we stop getting to know Him after that commitment is made - most married couples learn far more about each other after the wedding day than they do  before - but it does mean that we live out our days in both knowledge AND faith - growing in both, but not swerving from what we originally held to when we made that "leap of faith" to begin with.

This reflection on faith, led me to look up places in the Bible that shed more light on the word.  Here is what I learned:

1. Faith is more precious than gold. (1 Peter 1:7)
2. Faith results in the salvation of our souls. (1 Peter 1:9, Ephesians 2:8)
3. Faith is the victory that overcomes the world. (1 John 5:4)
4. Faith is required for miraculous healing. (Mark 10:52, Luke 8:48, Matthew 9:2, 22, 29, Matthew 8:5-13, Acts 6:8)
5. It doesn't take much faith (relatively speaking) to be able to live out life to the fullest (the size of a mustard seed would suffice). (Matthew 17:20)
6. Faith purifies and sanctifies hearts. (Acts 15:9, 26:18)
7. Local churches are established by faith. (Acts 16:5)
8. Faith brings comfort. (Romans 1:12)
9. Faith is counted as righteousness by God, which is good news because there is no one who actually IS righteous, not even one. (Romans 4:5-20)
10. Faith is the key that grants us access to God's grace. (Romans 5:2)
11. Things that don't come by faith, are often sinful. (Romans 14:23)
12. Faith exercised apart from love is worthless. (1 Corinthians 13:2)
13. There is only one true faith. (Ephesians 4:5)
14. Faith brings unity. (Ephesians 4:13)
15. Faith is a shield against the devil. (Ephesians 6:16)
16. God's promises are inherited through faith and patience. (Hebrews 6:12)
17. When faith is tested (and it WILL be tested), the believer acquires perseverance. (James 1:3)
18. Faith is a required prerequisite when asking God for wisdom. Faith that God is all-wise and that He willingly imparts wisdom to His children. (James 1:6)

I also learned through studying the scriptures about faith that we have internal and external responsibilities once we have invested faith in God:


Internally we are to:
  • Pray and continually ask God to help us have more faith in Him. The Bible tells us that the apostles (those who walked most closely with Jesus) asked him to increase their faith, so should we (Luke 17:5).  
  • Hold on to the faith that we do have.  Kind of like dating your spouse, we are to nourish our first love and not let it be torn down by emotions, circumstances or others' opinions.  In 1 Timothy 1, Paul tells Timothy not to reject the promises made by God concerning his future.  He says others have done so and their faith has been shipwrecked as a result.  We are to remember our vows and God's vows to us and to lean on them.
  • Examine our hearts and lives for authenticity. In 2 Corinthians 13, Paul instructs the Corinthian believers that they should examine themselves to be sure they are in the faith. Insinuating that some can walk a path, convincing themselves that they have faith, but when tested it is revealed that their faith was pretending.

Externally we are to:
  • Obey Him by faith. If we have faith we not only agree inwardly, we must act outwardly, demonstrating that faith in how we live our lives.  Scriptures are rampant with this (Romans 1:5 & 17, Galatians 2:20, 2 Corinthians 5:7, 1 Timothy 5:8, Acts 6:7, James 2:17-22).
  • Speak up and talk about our faith. We should share about our experiences with God and His Word boldly and without showing partiality (James 2:1-5, Philemon 1:6, Jude 1:3).
  • Build up the church with our faith.  Use our gifts to build up others, and help those whose faith is waning, as well as correct those who are wandering (Romans 12:6, 14:1, 1 Thessalonians 3:10, Titus 1:13).



It is a beautiful cycle - attending to our faith internally leads to a stronger desire to demonstrate our faith externally, and those experiences of acting on our faith in God fan the flame of our internal faith-walk even more, until 10-25-50 years later we celebrate anniversaries of faith in Christ and marvel at how much more precious He is to us now than he was when we first believed, and tell the world how glad we are that we took that leap of faith!

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Lessons Learned on Youth Sunday

9/8/2013

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This morning the students in the youth group at our church were involved in every aspect of the service. <It was great.>

During the "preaching time," our youth pastor interviewed three of the high school students and asked them some very important questions that had some very important answers.  I thought they were worth passing on:

1. "How do you want older adults to pray for your generation?" 
  • I want them to pray that we will make good decisions.
  • I want them to pray that we will never become too contented in our spiritual lives, that we will always keep striving to know God more.
  • I want them to pray that we won't give up the faith, when we are asked to stand out and be different, and when we feel like we are missing out on things because of our decision to live the Christian life.

2. "How can the older generations help your generation?"
  • We watch you.  Please be good examples.
  • Please pray for us.
  • Treat us with respect.  Show us that you value us and what we have to offer.
  • Encourage us when you see us on the right path.  
  • Expect more than one word or one sentence answers from us, especially when it comes to spiritual things.  We have more to say, encourage us to do so.
  • Live a Christian life that makes us want what you have, that encourages us to keep the faith.


Will do!  Thanks, Image Youth Group!  

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What makes you WANT to work hard?

9/2/2013

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As I sit on the couch resting on LABOR Day, I started doing a little internet research on the concept of work (clearly I am more fun than a barrel of monkeys).  Specifically, I was curious about what makes people WANT to work hard.  Too many times, I'd rather take an easier way out and yet the call to hard work and dedication is ever present... nagging, really.  *so rude*   

I guess since it will always be the voice in the back of my head, so I might as well find ways to increase my "want-to" where hard work is concerned. Here are some of the positive things, other than the potential to make money, that I found which consistently seem to help make people willing to work harder than your average Joe:

1. A trustworthy leader.  
2. Recognizing the importance of the fruits of your labor.
3. The collaboration and camaraderie of a great team.
4. A compelling vision of the future.

If there is an an area of your life where you, like me, want to increase your motivation to work harder, maybe you need to find someone trustworthy to follow who can point the way.  Perhaps you need to remember all the good things that could be byproducts of your hard work.  Maybe it is time to recruit some enjoyable teammates to join you in the pursuit, or perhaps it is time to imagine what the future could be like if you stuck to it and gave it your all.

If all of that fails, crank up some great music and just do the next right thing for 1 more hour... just one more hour.  Maybe after that hour, we'll be too engrossed to quit, but even if we aren't we're closer to the goal than we were before!  

Colossians 3:23 "Whatever you do,work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men." ESV

Proverbs 14:23 "In all toil there is profit, but mere talk only leads to poverty." ESV

Philippians 4:13 "I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength."

NOTE: The quote in the picture above is questionably attributed to Thomas Edison.  Check out this link for the history of the quote and to look into any other quotes you find online to verify who really said them first.  


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Resting in Routine or Relationship?

8/11/2013

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When our son was a toddler, we learned a nifty parenting trick.  After suffering through meltdown after meltdown whenever it was time to transition from one activity to the next, we discovered that if we gave our son a 5 or 10 minute warning before the transition was about to happen, the meltdowns were a thing of the past.  "Tim, it will be time to help clean up toys and say goodbye in ten minutes."  "Tim, dinner will be in five minutes, so get ready to stop your video." As long as he knew what was coming and when, he could cope.  When he had time to wrap things up or finish on his own terms, he was golden.  If the meltdown wasn't completely averted, it was at least lessened in severity.

Don't you wish we had the luxury of those kinds of warnings in life as adults.  "Carla, in six months you will not be living here any more and you'll have to start over."  "Carla, within the year, that person that you are so attached to will pass away."  "Carla, in the next week someone in your family will become ill."  Just a little warning, wouldn't that be nice?  Just a little heads up so we can wrap our minds around what is coming and finish or adjust on our own terms. 

The thing is, these little advance warnings weren't the most valuable things we could offer our son.  Yes, they made life a little more bearable in the moment, especially as he was making his way through those toddler years, but it was never meant to be a way of life.  After all, we wouldn't always have a warning ourselves.  Sometimes we would need to make a transition with little to no warning and we would need him to trust us and spring into action before his emotions could catch up.  What we really wanted him to learn were things like - Your Mom and Dad love you and we are in charge.  We know what is best and we are working with an agenda that includes more than your immediate happiness, things you just aren't prepared to understand yet.  The more you trust us, the more you will see that we have your best interest at heart.  We may ask you to do some things that you do not want to do, but it is never out of cruelty.  At the end of the day, what we really wanted him to learn to do was to rest in our trustworthiness, and to respond based on our relationship not on an attachment to an established, predictable routine.

The same is true with our walk through life.  The routine will inevitably vary, so putting our trust in things always being the way they have been in the past is foolish.  Many times God will orchestrate situations in such a way as to soften the blows of painful change.  Other times, however, we will be called upon to simply respond in faith-filled obedience, when there is no resemblance of the normal routine anywhere in sight, no promise of how things will be resolved or how long the transition to a new normal will take.

In the end, through the pages of scripture, I have been given three things that are of greater value than a glimpse into the immediate future:

  1. I have been given a glimpse into eternity. "And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am." John 14:3
  2. I have been given a guarantee never to walk alone.  "Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.” Deuteronomy 31:6
  3. I have been given a promise of God's unending love. "For God so loved the world, that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life." John 3:16

At the end of the day, this is what has been offered to me and it is what I have to offer the world.  It isn't a safe, predictable routine, it is a relationship with the One who created all of us and has a vested interest in our future.  It isn't an advance warning system of difficult changes that lie ahead and it isn't a promise that life will be easy or pain-free.  It is the message of the gospel and it is enough.

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The Quest for Safety Goggle Friendship

7/17/2013

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A couple of days ago, if you'd peeked in my window you would have found me sitting on the couch in my living room weeping after reading a story, shared by Shauna Niequist in her book, Bread and Wine.  Shauna had been struggling with infertility and it seemed that everyone around her was pregnant.  She wanted to be happy for her pregnant friends , and most of the time she was, but somewhere inside her the desperation increased and the sorrow deepened with each new pregnancy announcement.  Finally she felt like she couldn’t take it any more and she posted about her feelings on her blog in a moment of complete transparency.  Soon after that she received a call from a friend, a newly pregnant friend, saying she was going to be in town and wanted to get together.  Shauna cringed, hoping that her friend hadn’t read her blog post. 

When they met at the restaurant, Shauna’s friend handed her a gift and told her that she had, indeed, read the blog post.  *cringe*  She said that she understood that this was the point in a friendship where many friends would have to walk away from each other for awhile, because the pain and the awkwardness would be too great.  She explained, however, that she felt that the two of them could do better than that.  Shauna opened the gift and found two pairs of safety goggles.  In her blog post she had admitted telling her husband that if she didn’t get pregnant that very month, she was going to break something glass just to feel it shatter in her hands.  That day in the restaurant, her friend told her, “If you feel like shattering something, I’ll be right there with you.  We’ll put on our safety goggles.  I’ll help you break something and then I’ll help you clean it up.  You’ve been celebrating with me and I’ll be there to grieve with you.  We can do this together.”

Even now, tears sting my eyes as I imagine that moment and as I picture the friends that God has brought into my life in the past who would do the same for me, who feel the same way about me. 

Here’s the rub.  With Facebook and Twitter and Instagram and Pinterest, it is more common for people to compete with friends, to feel disconnected from another’s pain or joy, or to assume we know what is going on with someone without ever talking with them or looking in their eyes.  Upper-division, safety-goggle-moment friendship is uncommon.  It involves phone calls, coffee dates, walks, snail mail, impromptu texts, it involves sacrifice and awareness.  It requires emotional commitment, not just an emotional attachment.  I long to be that kind of friend, and I long for these kinds of friends in my life.  I long for depth over breadth… to know and be known. 

My go-to thought whenever I realize something is lacking in my life is to re-prioritize and then adjust my schedule.  I’ve been known to put the most ridiculous things on the calendar just to make sure they happen.  Is that the answer for making room in our lives for deep friendship? Can friendship be scheduled?  Calendared?  Itemized? Is it something that I commit to a certain number of hours per week, then check off the friendship box on my to-do list?  That may be a springboard, but it certainly is not a way of life… at least not my way of life.  Friendship, like a meal at the table needs freedom to take whatever shape is needed in each season to not only be the most nourishing, but to make room for celebration, for fasting when needed.  That sounds a whole lot more like an art to me and not at all like an exact science, which, I must confess, makes me uncomfortable.  Science leans toward the proven and exact.  Art is subjective, open for interpretation.  In other words, friendship involves risk.  Risk of being rejected, risk of giving more than you receive  and feeling vulnerable or foolish, risk of entering too far into the pain of another – making them dependent on you rather than encouraged by you, risk after risk after risk.

The question then becomes, “Is it worth it?”

John 15:13 "Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends." - Jesus

Proverbs 17:17 "A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity."

Proverbs 27:17 "As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another."

It is absolutely worth it!  But we'll have to come to grips with the transient, free-flowing nature of relationships without insisting that they conform to our idealistic definitions.  Sometimes friendship may be the main course in our lives, sometimes a side dish or dessert, sometimes we may go through seasons of fasting altogether, but none of these is meant to be the ONLY way to approach friendship for the long haul.  The longer I live, the more I believe in embracing the ebb and flow without constantly feeling the need to label it: success or failure, good or bad.  We were created by a God who gave us a world of infinite variety and who expects us to delight in that variety and give Him glory in it, not get overwhelmed by a complex and multi-faceted world and, by reaction, sequester ourselves in a tiny corner of it, building protective walls of definitions and patterns of behavior that make us feel like we’ve got a handle on things.  Safety-goggle-friendship happens outside those walls, and it is worth it.


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An Ongoing Ache = A Reminder to Pray

6/27/2013

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For the past two days, I've been dealing with a sudden onset of lower back pain.  A couple trips to the chiropractor and some x-rays to rule out anything serious, and I am now feeling 65% better.  Any time an ache or pain slows me down, I HATE IT.  I hate being sick.  I hate injuries.  I don't manage health related setbacks well.  I'm not a fun patient.  I just want it to "be over."

Meanwhile, I have a friend in California, a mom of three elementary school-aged kids, who is being treated for Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy. RSD (as I understand it) is an unexplainable disease of the nervous system that is triggered by an injury.  The nervous system and body "overreact" to the injury and go a little haywire, making the pain related to the injury disproportionately severe.  Not only that, but the intense pain spreads to other body parts not affected by the injury, basically making life completely miserable, if not unbearable even after the injury heals.

Suddenly, perspective settles in.  Why was I complaining again?

My friend is currently undergoing a Ketamine treatment that requires her to be at the hospital from 8 a.m. to 3:30 p.m. every day.  The side effects include nausea, vomiting, extreme fatigue, and hallucinations.  She has had all of these.

From now on when my back twinges or pain wakes me up at night when I try to roll over in bed, I'm going to stop and pray for my friend instead of focusing on my own pain.  Would you do the same?  You don't have to know her name or anything about her really... just pray for my friend... a fellow planet-wanderer who has been thrown a difficult curve ball.  

So how do you pray?
  • Pray for the hallucinations to cease.  
  • Pray for the vomiting to stop.
  • Pray for her as she is away from her kids and misses them.
  • Pray for her mental stability as this treatment will be long and she'll need more emotional and physical energy reserves than Wonder Woman.
  • Pray for her spiritually, that God will be very sweet and tender with her and that she would see evidences of His work on her behalf and find ways to continue giving thanks (as she already has).
  • Pray for her husband.  No man is equipped to see his wife in pain without being able to alleviate it.  Pray for his endurance and his sensitivity. Pray for his emotional and physical health.
  • Pray for her kids.  This is one strong mama, and it won't be easy for her kids to see her in a weakened state.  
  • Pray for her parents.  No matter how old you are, your mom and dad will always see you as their baby.  Pray for their peace of mind.
  • Pray for a miracle of healing.  God is capable of it.

Maybe if in our own pain (whether it is emotional, spiritual, or physical), we can be reminded of the ache of another and lift her up in prayer, none of our pain will be in vain.  And God will bring a kind of healing we never could have imagined. 

"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." (2 Corinthians 12:9).



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Life is not a day at the beach

5/21/2013

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Life is not a day at the beach it is a swim in the ocean.  This is the thought that I have been considering this morning.  Here are my conclusions:

1. Sitting on the shore is not really living; it is coming right up to the edge of living and then refusing to enter the fray.  It is admiring the power and and pleasure of life but being too afraid to dive in.  It is safer, but it misses the point.  

2. Others may appear to be better swimmers (life-livers) than you are, but we aren't in it for a an hour, or a day, or even a week.  We are in it for the long haul.  In time, everyone struggles.  It doesn't matter how confident or "well equipped" we are.  You can only tread water for so long before you need someone to throw you a life line.

3. Jesus Christ, the Word who became flesh, is the ultimate life preserver.  (Psalm 119)


4. The point of a life preserver is to keep you afloat in deep water.  To keep you just as alive in the depths as you are on the beach.


5. What point is there in obtaining a life preserver and wearing it while sitting in the sand with only your toes in the water?  Why accept the saving grace of Jesus Christ and then live within your own strength, settling for only what is safe and easy?


Luke 17:33 Whoever tries to keep their life will lose it, and whoever loses their life will preserve it.

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I know who you are.

4/7/2013

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Today I was adding new music to my iPod for my commute to work and I started exploring the songs of JJ Heller.  I'd heard a few, but I wanted to hear more.  

One song in particular struck me immediately.  It is entitled, "Who You Are."  It describes the lives of individuals who are going through trying times; life isn't looking the way they thought it would, and they are in pain.  In their sorrow and confusion, they admit that they don't know what God is doing.  I can still hear the chorus ringing in my ears, "I don't know, I don't know what You're doing.  But I know who You are."

We can get through a lot when we know who we are walking through it with.  When we are sure.  100% certain.  No doubts.  We don't have to know everything in every situation, but we do have to know one thing for sure.  Who is it that walks with me?

The most heart-wrenching time in any relationship comes when one offends the other to the point where the offendee begins to not only take offense at the wrong doing, but to go so far as to question whether or not he really knew this friend in the first place.  This sense of betrayal is a common theme in movies.  We've all heard lines like, "I never even knew you."  or "Who are you, anyway?"   It feeds into our innate fear of trust.  Our fear of giving ourselves completely to another person.  There is always the risk that the wool is being pulled over your eyes, that what you wanted to believe about your friend, or lover, or parent, or mentor isn't actually true.  That's when the walls crumble down around you and the way out seems bleak.

BUT, what if you knew?  What if you never had to wonder?  What if you were absolutely certain that the character & capacity of the one you put your trust in was ROCK SOLID?  How many more confusing times could you make your way through together?  How many perceived offenses could you see past? How much deeper could the water get without you panicking?  How much higher would the mountains be that you could climb with him beside you?  It is almost impossible to fathom, if you have been repeatedly burned in your earthly relationships... that this kind of trust could exist.

When JJ Heller sings, "Who You Are," this is what she is singing about. She is reminding herself and all of us that we can know God.  His character is described vividly and consistently in the Bible and we can count on him to be who He says He is. Every. Single. Time.  

Circumstances will change.

God will not.

*This is cheating, because it is really better when you open your own Bible and pray your very own prayers and let God show Himself to you PERSONALLY, but - if you need a jump-start, a crash course in the character of God - this is a good place to start.

Not one moment that we spend reading the Bible, praying, listening to godly men and women teach and share, acting on what we learn, not one single moment is wasted.  Over time, each of these acts becomes a building block in our relationship with Jesus Christ.  His character IS rock solid.  But in our fallen human state, having encountered unpredictable and untrustworthy people time and time again, we don't come to put our full weight on Him over night.  It comes in time.  It is built by experience.  Give Him a chance.  He will prove to be exactly who He says He is, and that knowledge can make the sun rise after even the darkest of nights.

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On the Look-Out for God's Favor

3/17/2013

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On a recent trip to the National Zoo, we had a great time watching this meerkat.  The other meerkats in the habitat were rolling in the dirt, playing, and digging, but this one climbed up on the highest rock in the enclosure and stood very still and just looked, systematically, in every possible direction.  The educational plaque hanging on the wall nearby explained that this behavior is common for meerkats.  Since they are such tiny creatures and generally walk on all-fours, meerkats will frequently pull themselves up on their hind legs to get a better, higher view of their surroundings and search for predators.  

This week on my commute to work, I've been reading in Genesis about the life of Joseph.  You remember Joseph - the coat of many colors, being sold into slavery by his brothers, being bought by the Captain of the Guard in Egypt, ending up in prison (unjustly), interpreting dreams beyond his own capability, being restored and elevated to the position of second in command to the pharaoh, saving his family from the effects of a severe famine, being reunited with his father who thought he was dead.  AMAZING LIFE STORY to be sure.  The thing that struck me this week as I read through the account of the life of Joseph again was that He was always experiencing God's favor, regardless of his circumstances:
1. His brothers threw him in a pit, but didn't kill him.  
2. He was sold into slavery, but everything he did prospered and he was not treated like a slave in the home of Potiphar.
3. He was put into prison unjustly, but again everything he did there prospered and he was given responsibility and meaningful work even in prison.
4. He was offered a high position in the government of the pharaoh which he did not seek out.
5. Everything he did in Egypt prospered and his work there resulted in saving a nation from a devastating famine and in restoring his family to him.

As I read and reflected on Joseph's life, I was reminded that we cannot gauge whether or not we are living out God's will for our lives based on our circumstances.  After all, Joseph was rejected by his brothers. a slave, and a prisoner, all while being right where God wanted him to be. A better gauge of living out God's will, it seems, is His favor.   God's favor plays out in the smallest of ways and on the grandest of scales, but is of equal value regardless of the way it is displayed.  Sometimes we have to be like that meerkat, and rise above our own limited perspective and try to catch a glimpse of what is really going on in the midst of our suffering.  If we don't, we are destined to be enslaved to our current circumstances and our limited interpretations of them.  


This is more than looking for a "silver-lining."  This is about remaining faith-filled in our attitudes and faithful in our actions regardless of our situation.  Refusing to despair when we know we are on the path God wants for us.  Submitting to the route that He has deemed best and looking for evidences of His favor along the way to keep us going.  When we are in the pit (rejected by those who are supposed to love us and protect us), in slavery (stuck in a difficult situation without any control over it), or imprisoned unjustly (falsely accused and punished without cause) - may we rise up to our full height (in his mercy and grace) and look for evidences of favor smack dab in the middle of the pain and difficulty.  If they are there, then we have cause to rejoice in the midst of the mess and hold on for the deliverance that will surely come.  If they are absent, we have cause to repent and wait for the restoration that God has promised never to withhold from His children.

Psalm 121:1-2  (NIV)
"I lift up my eyes to the mountains-- where does my help come from? My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth."

Psalm 30:5 (NIV)
"For his anger lasts only a moment, but his favor lasts a lifetime; weeping may stay for the night, but rejoicing comes in the morning."


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The Life Sifter

2/15/2013

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I've decided life is really about sifting.

Perhaps I should clarify.  In 2013 in the United States, I would venture to guess that most households do not own a sifter and most youngsters today have likely never even seen one.  There are many different types of sifters for many different purposes, but the one I'm most familiar with is a flour sifter.  Hang with me here... I think it will be worth it in the end...  Kitchensavvy.com tells us that, "In earlier days, sifting flour served several purposes.  When flour was milled using stone wheels, as opposed to modern steel rollers, sifting removed bits of the millstone and other impurities that might be found in the flour.  Sifting also breaks up clumps, adds air to the flour which helps produce lighter cakes and pastries, and makes measurement more uniform."

So why do I think life is really all about sifting?  Well, I've seen people who've been through horrible, nightmarish things in life who still live healthy, happy, fulfilled, purposeful lives and I've seen others who've been completely sidelined by the most minor offense.  

The bottom line is that what we hold onto and what we let slip away, for better or for worse, really does define our human experience.  

So how do we sift what life hands us?  We can't hold onto everything we experience in life, so how do we decide what to hold onto and what to release?  Here are two questions to ask about the stuff in our lives we are holding onto to determine whether it should survive a good sifting:

1. Is it pure? In the description of the flour sifter, we learned that one reason for sifting is to remove impurities.  Is what you are holding onto pure? Is it True? Is it producing purity and truth in you?  If yes, then hold on to it.  If not, let it go.  

2. Is it adding lasting value?  A flour sifter incorporates air into the flour which makes the resulting baked goods light and fluffy.  Is what you are holding onto adding value to your life that will produce something even better in the long run?  If yes, then hold on to it.  If not, let it go.

So, what sorts of things need to be sifted... 
  • attitudes
  • memories (more specifically, the way we interpret memories)
  • relationships (careful here, grace is always the first resort)
  • habits
  • recurring thoughts
  • beliefs
  • possessions (or our attachment to them)


If the flour sifter example is any indicator, things get clumpy the longer they sit.  Why not run the stagnant, clumpy parts of your life through the sifter and see what happens... chances are there are some things that you've held on to that need to be broken up (reevaluated), filled with air (reinvigorated or reframed), and thoroughly filtered (keeping the good and releasing the impure and untruthful).

Hosea 10:12 "Sow for yourselves righteousness; reap steadfast love; break up your fallow ground, for it is the time to seek the LORD, that he may come and rain righteousness upon you." ESV


The video below is a PERFECT example of a life that has been well sifted.  

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I didn't realize...

1/27/2013

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Yesterday my son went with his youth group to volunteer with Target:Dayton.  They served a meal to the people who came in need of one.  Some were homeless, others barely getting by.  Timmy was in charge of the coffee.  

As we drove home, after the bus dropped him back off at our local church, I asked him about his experience.  These are the 3 simple things he shared with me and the profound lessons I learned from him:

1. Tim's quote: "Not everyone there "looked" homeless."  Mom's lesson: Not everyone I meet today who could use my help or encouragement will "look" like they need it.  That doesn't mean I should withhold it.  Target:Dayton provides their services indiscriminately and lets each individual decide whether or not they need them and want to receive them.  I should be so generous with my time, resources and attention.

2. Tim's quote: "I didn't know there were so many people in Dayton that were homeless.  There were so many of them." Mom's lesson: The need in the world is greater than I realize or have ever actually seen with my own eyes.  If I saw it all at once, it would likely overwhelm me and paralyze me.  The need is great.  I would be wise not to forget that.

3. Tim's quote: "There was a lady who worked there who came up to me and told me I was doing a good job."  Mom's lesson: It helps to know when we are on the right track.  Serving others isn't easy and when I see someone doing it well, I should tell them so.  We all secretly wonder whether what we are doing is making a difference and whether we are "doing it right."  Words of encouragement are precious gifts that keep the givers giving.

One bonus lesson I learned: The first time our children (or any one else for that matter) experience something, we need to pay attention to their reactions and descriptions.  When we have "been there and done that," we forget the power of a first experience and the unique perspective that comes with it.  


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Hope and Healing - Available to ALL

1/19/2013

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"When it is most difficult to worship God is when it is most important to worship God." ~Mandisa

On Tuesday, January 15th, I tuned in online to watch "A Night of Hope and Healing."  I was not disappointed.  Not only was I not disappointed, I was inspired and thrilled to my core at the display of the love of Christ that was taking place.  The event won't get any national media attention, but I can't let it go by without talking about it here.  It was profound to me.

The event was billed as "a free event designed to bring comfort to the community (surrounding Newtown, CT) through music, prayer, and uplifting messages."  The lineup of talented servants was impressive: Louie Giglio, Max Lucado, Steven & Mary Beth Chapman, Mandisa, TobyMac, Building 429, Laura Story and Casting Crowns.  Lest you think, the ulterior motive of this event was to make money - It was a FREE event, and 10,000 tickets were distributed to the Sandy Hook victims' families and community members affected by the recent school shooting.  I can't even begin to fathom what putting on this event cost.  To say it was an extravagant gift to total strangers, is an understatement.  Here is a taste of what the event included:

Familiar scriptures were recited corporately - the Lord's Prayer, the 23rd Psalm - taking on more personal meaning in light of recent events.  Less familiar scriptures were proclaimed boldly: 

Psalm 34:18, "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit."

Hebrews 4:14-16, "Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has gone through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess.  For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are - yet was without sin.  Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need."

Songs were sung with rich lyrics that ministered healing to those who would accept it:

Amazing Grace
It is Well With My Soul
Beauty Will Rise:

"It was the day the world went wrong. I screamed til my voice was gone, And watched through the tears as everything came crashing down. Slowly panic turns to pain, as we awake to what remains and sift through the ashes that are left behind. But buried deep beneath all our broken dreams, we have this hope:
Out of these ashes... beauty will rise and we will dance among the ruins. We will see Him with our own eyes. Out of these ashes... beauty will rise. For we know, joy is coming in the morning..."

Whom Shall I Fear:
"I know Who goes before me.  I know Who stands behind.  The God of angel armies is always by my side."
Broken Hallelujah:
"When all I can sing is a broken hallelujah, when my only offering is shattered praise, Still a song of adoration will rise up from these ruins.  I will worship You and give You thanks, even when my only praise is a broken hallelujah."

Stories were shared. Mary Beth Chapman, in particular, shared openly, while holding back tears about the tragic loss of their own 5 year old daughter, Maria.  Letting those present know they were not alone and they would not be forgotten.  She shared her conviction through it all that in the end God is enough and He is faithful.

Prayers were prayed. At one point the names of each of the victims of the Sandy Hook shooting were displayed in the stadium and a time of silent prayer for their families took place.  Louie Giglio told the group that the pictures and stories of each victim were on display backstage and that the performers had been looking at them and reading about them and asking God for help to minister to those left behind.

One of the performers tried his best to explain why they had all come and put on the event: "We just want to bless you and encourage you and enter into your pain with you and say we hurt too, and tell you
of the God who makes life worth living."  I'd say mission accomplished, and I've never been more inspired by a group of fellow believers trying to live out their faith in the world.  

Some of the heartfelt comments I jotted down as I watched include these:
Louie Giglio said, "In times like this people ask, 'Where is God?'  We are the body of Christ. We aren't a building with four walls, an institution, an organization. We are the hands and feet of Jesus in this world.  If the world is going to see Jesus, they will see him through His sons and daughters.  Where is God? God is here because the people of God are here." 


Steven Curtis Chapman: "The world keeps spinning, leaving many paralyzed, angry, numb and stuck while the world goes on. We have not forgotten you.  Not because we are wonderful in and of ourselves but because Jesus is in us. We may move forward, but we will not move on.  We will keep listening to you, praying for you."

"I drove a stake down in the ground when everything went dark in my life.  Even though I am still angry at times and even though I still don't get it - I have two choices - run away from God or run toward God and trust Him and trust His word is true. He is whispering, 'WILL YOU TRUST ME? I know your heart is broken.  Will you trust me?' The story ISN'T over.  We have lost so much but nothing is lost to God."

Max Lucado: "What Steven Curtis Chapman just did for you, you will one day do for someone else.  For the rest of your life you can speak from a place of 'been there.' If you'll let God be your teacher then what was intended for evil will bear good - you will be a missionary to the brokenhearted."

The Night of Hope and Healing was an absolutely perfectly lived-out illustration of why I am a Christian.  We do not "have" souls, we ARE souls and that night a group of humble, talented, people acknowledged the soul ache (that continues in CT long after the media attention fades away) and very respectfully and gently provided an outlet for those souls to reflect on the the Word of God, to pray and praise and thank and cry, and to find a way back to their Maker for restoration.  Beautiful and powerful to behold.

The most poignant moment to me was when Chris Tomlin and a full band was singing the song, "I Will Rise" (listen below).  There is a part of the song where the lyrics say: "Jesus has overcome, and the grave is overwhelmed. The victory is won. He is risen from the dead." The 10,000 people in the arena began to clap and cheer upon singing "The victory is won," and the clapping was so loud Chris Tomlin just stopped playing. And waited.  And let the moment happen.  People continued in their applause for several minutes and then they continued with the song.  Truly, worship is never more beautiful than when it is offered in times of great sacrifice. When I find it hard to worship in the future because of something that has caused me pain, I will remember that night and offer a sacrifice of praise.


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Are you drowning while no one notices?

1/5/2013

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When I was a very little girl, close to five years old, I experienced what it is like to be drowning. My parents, my Nanny and Pappaw, my brother and I were canoeing down a river in Florida together.  It was a beautiful day and we were having a great time together.  Eventually, my brother and I got into the river and took the seat cushions from one of the canoes and used them as flotation devices and we floated lazily alongside the canoes in the cool water.  It was a perfect summer day.  My brother was a strong swimmer, but I was not.  None of us were concerned about this though because we were staying close together and the water was not very deep.  The events that led up to me gasping for breath are fuzzy in my mind now some 30+ years later, but I do know that one of the canoes tipped over and my grandparents (who did not know how to swim) ended up in the water.  I know that my older brother left me alone to swim over and help them and I let go of my flotation device in the midst of the ensuing chaos.  My Dad jumped out of his canoe to go help my grandparents and in the process, his canoe tipped.  In the craziness of trying to get the canoes righted and the people back in them, I was quietly sinking below the water and bobbing back up with increasing desperation.  I couldn't understand why no one was coming to help me!  It was obvious to me that I was dying, but no one else seemed to notice.  How was that possible?!  

Since then I've learned about something that life guards call, "The Instinctive Drowning Response."  You see, as it  turns out, drowning in real life looks nothing like drowning in the movies or on TV.  Drowning people do not thrash about or yell for help.  They can't.  All of their energy is being expended on getting above the water and catching as much breath as possible before they inevitably sink back beneath the surface.  They can't wave their arms because they are instinctively using their arms to push down on the water's surface in order to leverage their bodies and get their mouths above water. With that being the case, statistics show that half of all children who die each year from drowning do so within 25 yards of a parent or other adult who didn't recognize that they were drowning.

Have you ever felt that way in your day to day life?  Drowning, while no one notices?  Chances are you think it should be obvious.  You can't fathom why no one seems to see that you are living on the brink.  Survival, just making it through the day, is so consuming your thoughts and energy that you can't understand why others don't sense your desperation, despair, constant struggle.  

On that perfect day in Florida, we all got a reality check.  Starting with me.  Once the canoes were back in place and those who were obviously endangered were in the clear, my father came over to me.  In a loud voice he said, "Stand up!"  I could not respond verbally or physically.  I kept sinking below the surface frantically climbing this invisible ladder that would bring me back up just long enough to gasp for air before I went back under.  Finally he grabbed me by my shoulders lifted me slightly and said again, louder and right to my face, "Carla, Stand up!"  With my head now being held above the water by his strong arms, I could respond.  Coughing and sputtering, I extended my legs and to my unfathomable surprise the river bottom was not far below.  I had been drowning in water that only came up to chest.  At any point I could have stretched out my legs, found solid ground and caught my breath, but I didn't know that.  I had no idea that my salvation was that close, that accessible, and my family had no idea that I was in danger.  Frightening, isn't it?

This memory surfaced for me this week while I was watching online as Louie Giglio taught a lesson at the Passion 2013 conference in Atlanta.  He shared two different stories from the Bible where people were healed or brought back to life, but the final step in that restoration process involved them "standing to their feet."  That is a powerful image for me.  Stand up!  Bear your own weight!  You are not a victim, you have what you need to carry on!

If you feel like you are drowning and no one is noticing, rest assured, the Solid Rock is beneath you.  It will require you transferring some of your energy from trying to stay afloat into remembering the One who put breath in your lungs to begin with, and that transfer of thought and energy will feel like a risk - but it is one that will pay off.  In Jeremiah 29:13 (NIV) God says, "You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart."  You will also be required to look at those around you a bit differently.  The answer is, No.  They can't tell that you are in despair, in danger.  It isn't always as obvious as you feel like it is.  People are busy and their thought lives are complicated (they have their own canoes tipping over left and right), that doesn't mean that they wouldn't come and support you while reminding you of the solid ground beneath you if they knew you needed that help.  Find a way to reach out - this too will feel like a risk, but it is one that will eventually pay off.  It helps if you reach out to those who aren't also drowning.  Someone standing on solid ground is much better equipped to help you find your footing than someone who is frantically climbing that invisible ladder too.

If you are one of the ones standing safely on the Rock, don't wait for those around you to completely slip below the surface before you reach out to them.  In real life, people drowning emotionally and spiritually don't look like they are drowning either.  They are often spending so much of their energy just trying to get through the day that they don't ask you for help or even know where to begin to describe the peril they are in.  Just like I didn't, couldn't respond to my Dad's instruction from afar to "Stand Up!" until he gripped me by the shoulders - others will need you to get closer than shouting distance in order to feel safe enough to try the suggestions you have for their relief from suffering.  And you'll need to be close enough to see that they need your help.  "Be devoted to one another in brotherly love.  Honor one another above yourselves. Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Share with God's people who are in need. Practice hospitality." - Romans 12:10-13 NIV.


(P.S. - After that day, as a five year old, my parents enrolled me in swimming lessons at a local pool.  I was terrified, but at their insistence I learned to swim - a skill that serves me well to this day.  If you have found yourself emotionally or spiritually drowning at some point don't be satisfied with temporary relief - get involved in a local Bible believing church, seek biblical counseling, make an appointment with a Christian physician, build your support system and gain the tools you need so that the next time the "water feels too deep" you will have what you need to survive and persevere.)

(P.P.S. - The point of this post wasn't really about physical drowning, but since I brought it up, here is a link to help us notice the signs of someone who is in distress in the water.  It is good information for all of us to have!)

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Houston, We Have a Problem

11/7/2012

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My day started off with a problem yesterday.  Don't you just love it when that happens?  Yeah, me neither.  

Our family car has been on its last legs for awhile and its latest malfunction finally forced me to call a mechanic yesterday morning.  The key has been getting stuck in the ignition for quite some time (this is the original problem), but we've always been able to eventually get it out, but lately getting it out hasn't been quite so easy.  In fact, Monday night I couldn't get it to come out at all, so "Old Yeller" sat outside with the key in the ignition all night.  The next morning when I went out to start-er-up, the battery was dead as a door nail.  That was the first problem of the day.  My son needed to get to school and the bus had already come by our house.  That was problem number two. I called a dear friend and neighbor and she came over at once to take Tim to school for me (problem two solved).  Then she came back with jumper cables and a can-do attitude.  Only issue was - we couldn't get the hood latch to release on my car.  You got it, problem numero three.  She called her husband and he walked us through the process and before we knew it problem three was history and the hood was open!  We got the car started in no time flat - and when I say WE, I mean SHE - (problem one alleviated) and she left to begin her day.  
     Problem four reared its ugly head when I realized that I had less than an eighth of a tank of gas and I couldn't leave the car idling for very long to get the battery fully charged.  I attached a battery charger to it and hoped for the best.  The best was not in the cards and the car refused to start when I needed to take it to a mechanic (Problem #5 - which is basically a do-over of problem #1).  I called another good friend who came over with jumper cables and a "can you really do this?" attitude.  I assured her I was capable (I had after all just watched friend #1 jump-start the car and had quickly watched a youtube video on how to go about it right before she showed up.  I was practically a pro!).  Thankfully I got the car started without anything blowing up (problem five solved) and my friend followed me to the mechanic's shop, because she's cool like that.  
     To continue making a long story longer - here is what happened after that:
  • The mechanic showed me in less than five minutes how to get the key out without fail every time it gets stuck (original problem solved), and didn't charge me a nickel.
  • Another friend pulled in to the mechanic's shop as we were wrapping up explaining that every time he turned on his windshield wipers, his horn would honk, and vice versa.  Laughter ensued.
  • My friend followed me to the gas station so I could fill up and she could be on hand in case the car wouldn't start up again (problem 4 alleviated).
  • I drove home and thanked God that I am OBVIOUSLY, His favorite.  No seriously, if you haven't heard - that is the word on the street. 

So, what is the moral of this story?  Take your pick:
1. It is good to have friends.  It is VERY good to have friends.
2. Problems aren't always solved in the same order in which they arise.  Tackle one thing at a time, but don't get hung up on the way it all comes together.  
3. Sometimes your problems might make other people laugh - go with it, we could all use a good laugh.  Getting bent out of shape only robs you of your own shot at joy in the middle of junk. (Shout-out to the windshield-wiper-horn-blowing friend, I do hope everything worked out!)
4. Don't assume the worst when a problem arises - you aren't God and you have no idea where your "stuck key" will lead you today, perhaps at the end of the day you'll still have a key that sticks, but you could also have a way to deal with it, a comforting knowledge of how far your friends are willing to go to help you, and a small glimpse at how much God truly loves you.


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It's Sunday

11/4/2012

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It's Sunday.  What does that mean to you?  Another day to sleep in and relax before the next work week begins? A day to get up and put on the mask of the "good girl/boy" and go to church to fulfill your weekly duty? The busiest day of the week with family and church obligations out the wazoo?  A blessed day of rest and reflection on the God who created the universe in 6 days? 

For the last several weeks, Sunday has become (at least temporarily) for me, a day to cry.  To weep.  To sometimes sob.  I didn't choose for that to be the case.  I do not wake up each Sunday morning and say to myself, "Well, get ready for a good cry.  Today's the day!"  In fact, most Sunday mornings I wake up refreshed and excited about spending the day at church and with my family.  Nevertheless, I have found myself in tears each Sunday for the past 5 weeks or so.  Part of it is the weekly reminder, as we step into the church we are attending, that things are not as we planned them to be.  Each time I enter, as I sit in the pew, as I listen to the orchestra and the choir, as I hear the announcements and reflect on the message from the Pastor, I am faced with the reality that it was never in my plan to sit in that congregation as anything other than the Associate Pastor's wife, but that didn't happen.  I haven't quite figured out how to sit there without that memory invading yet.  Another layer of my tears has come from the keen awareness in that environment of the goodness of my God.  Yes, there is pain reflecting on how things were "supposed to be," but there is also tremendous peace and joy coming from the God who has revealed Himself to me during this season in ways so tender and precious and awe-inspiring that I can't help but cry each week as I sing about His goodness and acknowledge His perfection.

As I have processed my unexpected and yet consistent Sunday tears, I can't help but think that it is all okay.  That I am not pathetic, rather I am broken and blessed.  That, in reality, this is how it should be.  Each and every week, we should all have moments to be reminded that "This is not how it should be."  This world is not our home.  We are strangers and aliens in this place.  Yet, we should also have moments of pure awe at the goodness and GREATNESS of our God.  It is these moments that keep us grounded in the spiritual reality in which we live.  It is these moments from which worship arises.  It is these moments wherein we declare our dependence on God and the insufficiency in ourselves.

I'm so glad it's Sunday.

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Especially Now

11/1/2012

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"Mom, sometimes I have thoughts like, 'Is God really real?'"  

This statement is part of a conversation I almost didn't have with my 11 year old son, Timothy, yesterday in the car on the way home from Wal-Mart.  Once I had time to process that entire conversation and the events of that day, I knew that I would need to share it here.  Some things are just too important NOT to share.

Earlier this week, Hurricane Sandy brought rain, snow, flooding, power outages, and havoc all throughout the northeastern United States.  My husband, who has been gifted with a heart that longs to serve others in tangible ways, immediately sensed that he was meant to help those who were affected in some way by the flooding and devastation that the storm caused.  He knew he had to go.  We have been out on a limb (where God has called us to be) in so many ways, over so many years, that I didn't even bat an eye at this.  Could we afford for him to go? No.  Did we know how it would happen or where he would stay? No.  Did that matter? No.

Jason pulled $500 out of our emergency fund, packed his duffel bag, pillow and sleeping bag, borrowed a church van (loaded with bottled water donated by church members), and I prayed over him and kissed him goodbye at 8:30am on Wednesday morning.  Sometime before lunchtime that very same day, I got a phone call from someone we dearly love.  He had been planning to make a donation to a disaster relief organization to help with Hurricane Sandy recovery efforts and heard that Jason was going.  He asked how we were paying for the trip and I told him that God would provide.  He said he was standing at his bank counter and wanted to wire money into our account to help out, and could I please give him our routing number and account number!  Guess how much he gave, without me ever telling him what we needed.  $500 exactly.  That money, combined with the $120 that various people from Grace Baptist of Cedarville had pushed into our hands/pockets as they dropped off bottled water, will no doubt meet whatever needs come up in the days ahead as Jason offers a cup of cold water, a hot meal, the gospel of Christ, and his physical labor to those who need it most.

Wednesday afternoon, as Timothy and I were driving back from Wal-Mart, I hesitated to tell him that story.  I didn't know if he was old enough to really understand the process of trusting God in that way.  I didn't want to give him a false impression that you could just run out and do whatever you wanted for God and that he would throw money at you to cover the cost.  Still, something in my spirit told me it was worth the risk that he might learn the "wrong lesson" in order to share what God had done and give Him glory.  When I relayed the story, Timmy had the biggest smile.  He said, "Mom, sometimes I have thoughts like, 'Is God really real?' Then I hear stories like that and I KNOW.  I KNOW HE IS REAL and I think how stupid it is to think He isn't."

I am so glad I shared that story with my son.  Just in case someone who is reading this is wondering, "Is God really real?"  I thought I should share it with you as well.  Two questions for you today:

1. What spiritual conversation have you not had with a young person in your life because you aren't sure he/she is ready for it?  May I venture to suggest you give it a try?  Children and young adults are far more spiritually attuned than we give them credit for!

2. What has God done in your life lately that you need to share with someone else?  I know how much that story encouraged my son, and I am hoping it encourages you as well.  What stories of His goodness have you not shared with others?  We need to hear them!

Hebrews 10:25 NLT "And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another, especially now that the day of His return is drawing near."

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What Makes You Feel Strong?

10/17/2012

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"Your consistency makes us feel safe around you."

As part of my job as an executive assistant, I was asked to read this book and take the online strengths assessment that goes along with it.  At the end of the process you end up with two areas of your greatest strength, a report that helps you understand how to use those strengths better at work, and a phrase that describes you.  The phrase at the top of this post is mine.  I've been batting it around in my head ever since.  Is it true?  I hope so.  I want people to feel safe with me.  I have seen this play out in a variety of ways throughout my life - being able to befriend people fairly easily when we have moved so many times, welcoming foster children into our home and helping them to quickly feel safe and at ease, gaining the trust of those who employ me. I guess I've always taken for granted these simple things, but I've never viewed them as what makes me different or unique.  

The book describes your strengths as "those things that make you feel strongest", NOT as "what you are good at."  The author makes a distinction by stating that just because you are good at something doesn't mean you gain strength from doing it.  There are countless novels and movies based around this very idea... you can picture them now.  The parent who pressures the child to excel in a sport or theatrical or musical endeavor because it is obvious the child is good at it, only to have the child rebel when she is old enough to say no because, while she is an amazing ballet dancer, she does not derive strength and joy from dancing... what she really gets jazzed about is Paleontology, or Nursing, or "fill in the blank."  The Wall Street executive who walks away from a lucrative career to become a chef or appear on American Idol.  We eat these stories up!  Perhaps because we can relate on some level.

Do you ever feel like you've made choices in life that have led you to the place you are now because you've always just done what you've been good at, regardless of whether or not it played to your true inner strengths?  That is the question this book asks and it is a good one to consider.

An even better question to ask? Have you submitted everything you are to the God who made you that way to be used for His glory in the world?  It is one thing to know how you are wired; it is another to know the One who wired you that way and pursue that which He gives you to do on a daily basis.  

I submit to you that while "playing to your strengths" may make you feel strong and energized, that will only last as long as you are playing to an "audience of One."  God is the one who can renew our strength day-by-day even when all strength is gone.  I'm so thankful to know that this is true and to have experienced that truth in my life.  No matter where I am or what I am doing, my strength can be renewed and I can "feel strong," if I am following God and relying on Him.

1 Chronicles 16:11 NASB - "Seek the Lord and His strength.  Seek His face continually."

Philippians 4:13 NLT - "For I can do everything through Christ who gives me strength"

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Birthday Thoughts

9/30/2012

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Well they say it's your birthday!  Well it's my birthday too!  

We are getting ready to head out on a hike to Cedar Falls in a little while, but I wanted to write down some thoughts that are on my mind before we head out and I get busy with the plans of the day.  I hope these reflections will be a blessing to you as they have been to me today.

In church this morning, we read a portion of the account of the life of Joseph from the book of Genesis in the Bible.  Here are the notes I wrote as I listened and pondered God's goodness in the life of Joseph even as things around him were less than idyllic:

  • In Chapter 40, verse 13 of Genesis, Joseph is in prison and interprets a dream for the Pharaoh's cup-bearer (a fellow prisoner) in which he tells him that the Pharaoh will "lift up his head" and restore him to his position.  I find it interesting (and heart-wrenching) that Joseph ends up being the bearer of this good news.  How Joseph must have longed for his God to lift HIS head and restore HIM to HIS position, and yet it was not time.  The cup-bearer had only been in prison a short period of time, while Joseph had been behind bars for years at this point.  He deserved to be set free, but God gave him the task of proclaiming another's freedom.  How ironic.  How humbling. How difficult!  Still, Joseph was faithful.
  • In Chapter 41, verse 16, Joseph points Pharaoh to the One True God even though the Pharaoh, who was considered as a god in his culture, was willing to give the credit to Joseph.  It becomes obvious that honesty reigns supreme in Joseph's value system here.  This makes me think, Do I trust God enough to give Him the glory when others (even "important others") are willing to give the credit and glory to ME and exalt ME - especially at those times when emotionally and spiritually, I really feel like I could use a little "lifting of my head?"  Or do I honestly believe that in due time God will exalt me and that His opinion is the only one that matters and that all other exaltation is inferior to His?



The applause of men can be enticing, especially when we are feeling low or needy, but accepting it is dishonest and settling for it is foolish when the God of the universe deserves the credit and the God of the universe is the true lifter of your head.  


Psalm 3:3 (NLT) "But you, O LORD, are a shield around me; you are my glory, the one who holds my head high." 


On my birthday today, I praise the One who knit me together in my mother's womb and who, in His great mercy, has saved my soul and given me a life filled with meaning and purpose!  He has repeatedly lifted my head in due time and been my source of greatest joy and greatest satisfaction in life.  May I serve him well with as many more days/weeks/years as He gives me!

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A Letter to My 20 Year Old Self

9/19/2012

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To My 20 Year Old Self,

Hi.  Do you have any idea how much potential you have?  No, you don’t; I know because I was you 17 years ago.  Let me enlighten you a bit from this side of 35, sweet girl.  God has wired you uniquely, hand-crafted your personality, your talents, your intelligence, and your creativity for a purpose.  Please, don’t get hung up on what that purpose is right now or how it will play out throughout your lifetime.  Please don’t let it paralyze you.  Please don’t lie awake at night fretting over whether or not to change your major or whether or not you’ll be able to get a job when you graduate or whether or not you’ll ever get married.  

Stick with what your prayers and your gut are telling you for now, for today and trust God with the future.  Concentrate on your character right now more than your path.  “The second half of a man’s life is made up of nothing but the habits he has acquired during the first half,” (Dostoevsky).   In the meantime, don’t pretend that you have got it all figured out, even if people expect you to.  Yes, your future may very well include things like a successful career, marriage, motherhood, influence, ministry and more; but it may not look anything like what you imagine those things to be right now – and that is a good thing. 

A successful career might be that position at the law office downtown or a low paying job that pays the rent and finds you doing something that you never knew you were made to do.  Marriage might mean a white wedding dress followed by 50+ years with a godly man or perhaps remaining loyal to God and God alone for the rest of your days.  Motherhood may include bringing up sons and daughters who come into your life through childbirth or adoption, or it could look more like mentoring girls and boys younger than you or foster-parenting for a season.  Influence may involve writing that book that everyone reads and raves about or it could be displayed more quietly as you devote time and attention to the handful of special people God puts under your care.  Ministry may involve travel and large crowds and the salvation of many, or it may be quietly holding the hands of those who no one else notices and introducing them to a Savior you’ll never be sure this side of heaven if they completely accept. 

Whatever lies ahead for you, rest assured, IT IS GOOD.  It is so good, that you can’t imagine something better, no matter how hard you try.  You can’t make it better by worrying about it now either, so don’t bother.  God is the one who makes it good and His work in your life isn’t dependent on your planning or fretting or manipulating your situation.  It is only dependent on your obedience.  Walk with Him.  Trust Him.  He knows the way.

“’For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord. ‘Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.’”  Jeremiah 29:11 NIV.  Believe Him that this is true, even when things are hard. 

“Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.” Psalm 37:4 ESV.  Trust that He knows your heart better than you know it yourself.

“Thy word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path.” Psalm 119:105 KJV. Learn to love God through relying on His word, the Bible.  It is relevant and it is breathtaking.

“The Lord directs our steps, so why try to understand everything along the way?” Proverbs 20:24 NLT.  Don’t be afraid to ask God “Why?” when you don’t understand the detours, but be willing to accept and keep moving forward when he answers with “I’m not going to tell you right now.”

Above all, commit to laying all of your plans and hopes and dreams at His feet on a regular basis.  Some of them He may one day give back to you, wrapped in his beautiful grace.  Others he will discard, because of His infinite mercy, replacing them with something that He desires you to have even more.  Either way, you will have your treasure – a life of meaning and purpose, and a relationship with the God who planned it that way from the beginning.

Love,

Me


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Why I just cried watching MasterChef

9/12/2012

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Qualifier: I am not currently particularly hormonal... let me just say that up front.  I just finished watching episode 9 of season 3 of Fox's cooking competition, MasterChef and I can honestly say I teared up at the end like I was watching a Hallmark tear-jerker.  "Seriously?"  You might say.  "You cried watching a Gordon Ramsay show?"  Yes.  Yes I did.

This episode was the last episode before the finale and in it the three finalists would be narrowed down to the final two who would compete for the title.  Becky, who had been a major front-runner throughout the competition ended up falling short (having to cook frog's legs, no less).  She was completely devastated.  That in and of itself might have made someone get misty-eyed, but that is not what made me cry.  Once the final two were announced and Becky was left as the odd man out, Gordon Ramsay asked her what would come next for her.  Feebly she answered that she would go home and see if she could find a restaurant kitchen to sneak into and work for awhile.  Here is how he responded:

 "I've got a few restaurants.  Trust me, each one of those doors are open, whether it is in the center of Europe, Paris, New York, I don't care; the door is open.  Any time you wish.  You have a gift."

Okay.  That's where I lost it.  So did she.  Gordon Ramsay has worked very hard over many years to get to a place where he can now, not just give others a leg up or a helping hand, but catapult them into the stuff dreams are made of.  He put in the blood, sweat and tears to realize the dream and now he can "open the doors" of that realized dream for others to enjoy and benefit from.  That is a beautiful picture to me.  That is why I strive to do things with excellence and why I am disappointed in myself when I fall short, because it isn't just about me!  The more I learn and grow, the more I have to offer the world around me.  

When my friend Katie and I started a children's drama and choir troupe in a church in a small town in rural California many years ago, it wasn't to make a name for ourselves... that is laughable to even consider.  We wanted to serve our church.  We could have just gotten kids together and sung a few songs and taught them about music and it would have served a purpose, but instead, we both felt compelled to offer the children and the church the very best we could, with God's blessing and strength and grace along the way.  In the end, I look back on those years with such joy.  Because of that commitment and God's favor, we were able to offer the church, the children and parents, and the community an experience they wouldn't have had otherwise, one that the children in particular (who are all grown-up now) will be able to carry with them for the rest of their lives.  We did full fledged musicals with 2nd through 6th graders!  There were dance routines, competitive auditions, full sets, choreographic elements, costumes, and high expectations for memorization and performance.  We taught them that "they had a gift" and then we gave them a chance to put that gift to use in a wonderful way.

Do you know who was most blessed during that MasterChef episode?  Gordon Ramsay.  No matter how blessed Becky felt, her joy couldn't have possibly paralleled Gordon's.  Do you know who was most blessed at the end of each and every children's musical?  Katie and I, no doubt about it.  

What a privilege it is to work hard and in gratitude offer up what God has allowed us to attain to the building up of others.  What are you working hard for right now?  What possible ways can you imagine that God could use the fruit of your labors to bless others?  


Ephesians 3:20 (NLT)
"Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think." 

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The Danger of Comparison

9/9/2012

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Today during the discussion we had in the Sunday School class that we attended, I was reminded of a habit that we have gotten into as a family.  A good habit!  Every time Timothy has a birthday, Jason and I give him a new privilege and a new responsibility based on his age and ability level.  Hmmm, what does that have to do with Sunday School...? I'm glad you asked.

We were discussing how grateful we are that God doesn't confront us with every single sinful attitude and action in our lives all at once.  We were comforted with the fact that sanctification is a lifelong process and that His grace is sufficient through it all.  That made me think of Timmy's birthday privilege and responsibility, because as Christians one of the worst things that we can do is compare ourselves with other believers.  That comparison either leaves us gloating in our privileges and mastery of our responsibilities or leaves us feeling like dirt... neither attitude is godly.  

Here is a practical example: On Tim's 10th birthday, his new responsibility was to make his bed daily.  He was finally tall enough and his arms were finally long enough to do the job right.  
 - Does this mean that Tim's bed had gone unmade for the previous 10 years?  No.  We took care of it until we were convinced he was able.
 - Does that mean that we were secretly harboring anger toward Tim for the previous 10 years because beds need to be made and he wasn't making his?  No.  We hadn't asked him to do that yet, nor did we feel like he was ready for that responsibility.  There were other things we had him working on in the meantime (setting the table, picking up dog poop in the yard, vacuuming, putting away dishes, etc.).
 - Does that mean that the 7, 8, and 9 year old friends that Tim had who had already been making their beds themselves were better than Tim?  No.  They had been given different responsibilities by their parents that had nothing to do with what was between Tim and his parents.

If that makes perfect sense to us, why do we not always carry that principle with us into the spiritual realm.  Why do we look down our noses at people who "call themselves Christians" but still sin in ways we don't?  Or, on the other side of that coin, why do we look at others who have mastery over something and declare ourselves worthless because we aren't there yet.  God convicts us all and equips us all as He sees fit as we grow up and mature in Him.  He doesn't expect everything from us all at once and we shouldn't expect it of each other.  

The moral of this story?
1. You may be making your bed daily, but don't gloat over your brother or sister with the unmade bed... chances are he/she has been busy picking up dog poop.  Want to trade?
2. Thank God for His grace that is sufficient for every task and every mistake we make along the way.  He knows what we are capable of and He never asks more of us than we can accomplish with His strength and support.  What a loving Father!

2 Peter 3:18 (NASB): "But grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. To him be the glory both now and to the day of eternity. Amen."

Ephesians 4:15 (NIV) "...speaking the truth in love we will all grow up into Him who is the Head, that is, Christ."

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