Today I read this story about a young man in Belize whose life was radically changed by people loving him and encouraging him when his own parents abandoned him at the age of 12.  I was moved by the way I saw God's hand in his life as he described the twists and turns that led him to the place of gratitude and hope where he is now. I can imagine that it took courage for him to write his story down and that there were probably times where he doubted whether he should or not.  Sometimes something means an awful lot to us, but we have doubts about whether or not it would mean much to others.  It is disconcerting to share our stories when others may discount their value or weight.  Earlier this week I read two different accounts written by fathers who lost a child.  One to a stillbirth and the other to a tragic car accident at age five.  Both commented that they were hesitant to share their stories.  They were concerned about somehow cheapening the weight of their experiences with their own clumsy words and even worse, laying them out there for others to criticize or judge - not just their writing, but their very motives for writing in the first place. 

I am thankful that each of these people chose to tell their story.  SO thankful.  I am drawn to stories.  True stories.  Biographies, autobiographies, historical sketches, blogs, I want to read them all.  To me, this is the stuff of life.

In Shauna Niequist's book, "Bittersweet," she writes this, "There are myths that we tend to believe about our stories: the first is that they're about us; they don't matter. But they're not only about us, and they matter more than ever right now. When we, any of us who have been transformed by Christ, tell our own stories, we're telling the story of who God is... My life is not a story about me. And your life is not a story about you. My life is a story about who God is and what he does in a human heart."

Let's be brave and tell His story about our lives - about what He has brought us through and what He is walking with us in today and where He seems to be leading us. And let's not be quick to judge when others share their stories.  There are things to learn about God and what He is doing in the world bound up inside each and every person we meet - my bus driver, the woman I pass in the city each day holding a cardboard sign, your son's swim team coach, the mail carrier, my neighbor, the telemarketer.  Perhaps if we saw each other that way, if we saw ourselves that way, we'd approach each other with a bit more grace and dignity, and we'd dive deeper into the the greatest story ever told.

No man is an island, but man is it ever tempting to try it out sometimes!  There is nothing quite like having to suffer through the consequences of someone else's decision to make you want to bar the doors and windows and give the hermit-life a try.  As long as we live on this planet, we will be effected by the decisions of others.  Sometimes for good, other times not so much.  The same decision-making capability and freedom that God granted you, he also gave to your family members, friends, boyfriend/girlfriend, co-worker, boss, pastor, political leader, and even strangers on the street.  

No matter how hard we try, we cannot control those around us or insulate ourselves from their choices.  So what can be done when we find ourselves tossed in the wake of someone else's decisions?

1. Take a deep breath.  Maybe more than one.
2. Remember that you are responsible for your own actions and reactions, regardless of how you feel or who made you feel that way. One bad decision by someone else doesn't necessitate another from you.
3. Plead with God for a higher perspective and a compassionate heart. It may come right away, but it might not.  Expect it. Wait for it. 
4. Acknowledge the reality of the situation and the greater reality of God's sovereignty and His promise to work everything together for your good (Romans 8:28). Acknowledge it in prayer, in journaling, in a conversation with someone you trust. Keep acknowledging it until you find yourself dwelling more on what He can do than on what was done "to you."
5. Take one step in the right direction.  A step of forgiveness, a step of faith, a step away, a step forward, whatever is the next right thing - do that.  Don't wait too long.

Repeat as needed.

Bonus - #6. Thank God for your own freedom to make decisions and even to make mistakes and learn from them.  Ask Him to help you vividly remember this moment when you next make a decision that will impact those around you.

This morning the students in the youth group at our church were involved in every aspect of the service. <It was great.>

During the "preaching time," our youth pastor interviewed three of the high school students and asked them some very important questions that had some very important answers.  I thought they were worth passing on:

1. "How do you want older adults to pray for your generation?" 

• I want them to pray that we will make good decisions.
• I want them to pray that we will never become too contented in our spiritual lives, that we will always keep striving to know God more.
• I want them to pray that we won't give up the faith, when we are asked to stand out and be different, and when we feel like we are missing out on things because of our decision to live the Christian life.

2. "How can the older generations help your generation?"

• We watch you.  Please be good examples.
• Please pray for us.
• Treat us with respect.  Show us that you value us and what we have to offer.
• Encourage us when you see us on the right path.  
• Expect more than one word or one sentence answers from us, especially when it comes to spiritual things.  We have more to say, encourage us to do so.
• Live a Christian life that makes us want what you have, that encourages us to keep the faith.

Will do!  Thanks, Image Youth Group!  

As I sit on the couch resting on LABOR Day, I started doing a little internet research on the concept of work (clearly I am more fun than a barrel of monkeys).  Specifically, I was curious about what makes people WANT to work hard.  Too many times, I'd rather take an easier way out and yet the call to hard work and dedication is ever present... nagging, really.  *so rude*   

I guess since it will always be the voice in the back of my head, so I might as well find ways to increase my "want-to" where hard work is concerned. Here are some of the positive things, other than the potential to make money, that I found which consistently seem to help make people willing to work harder than your average Joe:

1. A trustworthy leader.  
2. Recognizing the importance of the fruits of your labor.
3. The collaboration and camaraderie of a great team.
4. A compelling vision of the future.

If there is an an area of your life where you, like me, want to increase your motivation to work harder, maybe you need to find someone trustworthy to follow who can point the way.  Perhaps you need to remember all the good things that could be byproducts of your hard work.  Maybe it is time to recruit some enjoyable teammates to join you in the pursuit, or perhaps it is time to imagine what the future could be like if you stuck to it and gave it your all.

If all of that fails, crank up some great music and just do the next right thing for 1 more hour... just one more hour.  Maybe after that hour, we'll be too engrossed to quit, but even if we aren't we're closer to the goal than we were before!  

Colossians 3:23 "Whatever you do,work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men." ESV

Proverbs 14:23 "In all toil there is profit, but mere talk only leads to poverty." ESV

Philippians 4:13 "I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength."

NOTE: The quote in the picture above is questionably attributed to Thomas Edison.  Check out this link for the history of the quote and to look into any other quotes you find online to verify who really said them first.  

For the past two days, I've been dealing with a sudden onset of lower back pain.  A couple trips to the chiropractor and some x-rays to rule out anything serious, and I am now feeling 65% better.  Any time an ache or pain slows me down, I HATE IT.  I hate being sick.  I hate injuries.  I don't manage health related setbacks well.  I'm not a fun patient.  I just want it to "be over."

Meanwhile, I have a friend in California, a mom of three elementary school-aged kids, who is being treated for Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy. RSD (as I understand it) is an unexplainable disease of the nervous system that is triggered by an injury.  The nervous system and body "overreact" to the injury and go a little haywire, making the pain related to the injury disproportionately severe.  Not only that, but the intense pain spreads to other body parts not affected by the injury, basically making life completely miserable, if not unbearable even after the injury heals.

Suddenly, perspective settles in.  Why was I complaining again?

My friend is currently undergoing a Ketamine treatment that requires her to be at the hospital from 8 a.m. to 3:30 p.m. every day.  The side effects include nausea, vomiting, extreme fatigue, and hallucinations.  She has had all of these.

From now on when my back twinges or pain wakes me up at night when I try to roll over in bed, I'm going to stop and pray for my friend instead of focusing on my own pain.  Would you do the same?  You don't have to know her name or anything about her really... just pray for my friend... a fellow planet-wanderer who has been thrown a difficult curve ball.  

So how do you pray?

• Pray for the hallucinations to cease.  
  
• Pray for the vomiting to stop.
  
• Pray for her as she is away from her kids and misses them.
  
• Pray for her mental stability as this treatment will be long and she'll need more emotional and physical energy reserves than Wonder Woman.
  
• Pray for her spiritually, that God will be very sweet and tender with her and that she would see evidences of His work on her behalf and find ways to continue giving thanks (as she already has).
  
• Pray for her husband.  No man is equipped to see his wife in pain without being able to alleviate it.  Pray for his endurance and his sensitivity. Pray for his emotional and physical health.
  
• Pray for her kids.  This is one strong mama, and it won't be easy for her kids to see her in a weakened state.  
  
• Pray for her parents.  No matter how old you are, your mom and dad will always see you as their baby.  Pray for their peace of mind.
  
• Pray for a miracle of healing.  God is capable of it.
  

Maybe if in our own pain (whether it is emotional, spiritual, or physical), we can be reminded of the ache of another and lift her up in prayer, none of our pain will be in vain.  And God will bring a kind of healing we never could have imagined. 

"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." (2 Corinthians 12:9).

I've decided life is really about sifting.

Perhaps I should clarify.  In 2013 in the United States, I would venture to guess that most households do not own a sifter and most youngsters today have likely never even seen one.  There are many different types of sifters for many different purposes, but the one I'm most familiar with is a flour sifter.  Hang with me here... I think it will be worth it in the end...  Kitchensavvy.com tells us that, "In earlier days, sifting flour served several purposes.  When flour was milled using stone wheels, as opposed to modern steel rollers, sifting removed bits of the millstone and other impurities that might be found in the flour.  Sifting also breaks up clumps, adds air to the flour which helps produce lighter cakes and pastries, and makes measurement more uniform."

So why do I think life is really all about sifting?  Well, I've seen people who've been through horrible, nightmarish things in life who still live healthy, happy, fulfilled, purposeful lives and I've seen others who've been completely sidelined by the most minor offense.  

The bottom line is that what we hold onto and what we let slip away, for better or for worse, really does define our human experience.  

So how do we sift what life hands us?  We can't hold onto everything we experience in life, so how do we decide what to hold onto and what to release?  Here are two questions to ask about the stuff in our lives we are holding onto to determine whether it should survive a good sifting:

1. Is it pure? In the description of the flour sifter, we learned that one reason for sifting is to remove impurities.  Is what you are holding onto pure? Is it True? Is it producing purity and truth in you?  If yes, then hold on to it.  If not, let it go.  

2. Is it adding lasting value?  A flour sifter incorporates air into the flour which makes the resulting baked goods light and fluffy.  Is what you are holding onto adding value to your life that will produce something even better in the long run?  If yes, then hold on to it.  If not, let it go.

So, what sorts of things need to be sifted... 

• attitudes
• memories (more specifically, the way we interpret memories)
• relationships (careful here, grace is always the first resort)
• habits
• recurring thoughts
• beliefs
• possessions (or our attachment to them)

If the flour sifter example is any indicator, things get clumpy the longer they sit.  Why not run the stagnant, clumpy parts of your life through the sifter and see what happens... chances are there are some things that you've held on to that need to be broken up (reevaluated), filled with air (reinvigorated or reframed), and thoroughly filtered (keeping the good and releasing the impure and untruthful).

Hosea 10:12 "Sow for yourselves righteousness; reap steadfast love; break up your fallow ground, for it is the time to seek the LORD, that he may come and rain righteousness upon you." ESV


The video below is a PERFECT example of a life that has been well sifted.  

This is Luke McMaster.  He is a multiplatinum song-writer who recently launched a solo career with a billboard hit song - "Good Morning Beautiful."  About a month ago, just before Christmas, a friend of mine from childhood was facing a heart surgery for her 3 year old daughter, Elouise.  Prior to her surgery, Elouise's grandma introduced her to "Good Morning Beautiful" and it became her favorite song.  They tweeted Luke McMaster (a stranger to them) a picture of Elouise listening to the song before going into surgery.  He promised to record a special version just for her.  

The thing is, he actually did it.

He chose to be delightful.  He didn't have to.  Elouise came through her surgery beautifully and would have lived a happy life without a personalized version of a billboard hit song.  But he did it anyway.  This isn't the first story or video to inspire this kind of attitude that I've come across lately: Jon Acuff wrote this blog post called Choose To Be Delightful about his experience at Trader Joe's, and if you haven't been watching the Kid President videos... well then you are missing out big time!

I guess the theme is, Why NOT be delightful?!  It only takes a few extra moments of your time and makes a HUGE difference in the world around you.  

P.S. You can get Luke McMaster's debut album, "All Roads," on iTunes or Amazon.  (not a paid endorsement, I just think it is great to support artists who take the time to be delightful)

Yesterday my son went with his youth group to volunteer with Target:Dayton.  They served a meal to the people who came in need of one.  Some were homeless, others barely getting by.  Timmy was in charge of the coffee.  

As we drove home, after the bus dropped him back off at our local church, I asked him about his experience.  These are the 3 simple things he shared with me and the profound lessons I learned from him:

1. Tim's quote: "Not everyone there "looked" homeless."  Mom's lesson: Not everyone I meet today who could use my help or encouragement will "look" like they need it.  That doesn't mean I should withhold it.  Target:Dayton provides their services indiscriminately and lets each individual decide whether or not they need them and want to receive them.  I should be so generous with my time, resources and attention.

2. Tim's quote: "I didn't know there were so many people in Dayton that were homeless.  There were so many of them." Mom's lesson: The need in the world is greater than I realize or have ever actually seen with my own eyes.  If I saw it all at once, it would likely overwhelm me and paralyze me.  The need is great.  I would be wise not to forget that.

3. Tim's quote: "There was a lady who worked there who came up to me and told me I was doing a good job."  Mom's lesson: It helps to know when we are on the right track.  Serving others isn't easy and when I see someone doing it well, I should tell them so.  We all secretly wonder whether what we are doing is making a difference and whether we are "doing it right."  Words of encouragement are precious gifts that keep the givers giving.

One bonus lesson I learned: The first time our children (or any one else for that matter) experience something, we need to pay attention to their reactions and descriptions.  When we have "been there and done that," we forget the power of a first experience and the unique perspective that comes with it.  

When I was a very little girl, close to five years old, I experienced what it is like to be drowning. My parents, my Nanny and Pappaw, my brother and I were canoeing down a river in Florida together.  It was a beautiful day and we were having a great time together.  Eventually, my brother and I got into the river and took the seat cushions from one of the canoes and used them as flotation devices and we floated lazily alongside the canoes in the cool water.  It was a perfect summer day.  My brother was a strong swimmer, but I was not.  None of us were concerned about this though because we were staying close together and the water was not very deep.  The events that led up to me gasping for breath are fuzzy in my mind now some 30+ years later, but I do know that one of the canoes tipped over and my grandparents (who did not know how to swim) ended up in the water.  I know that my older brother left me alone to swim over and help them and I let go of my flotation device in the midst of the ensuing chaos.  My Dad jumped out of his canoe to go help my grandparents and in the process, his canoe tipped.  In the craziness of trying to get the canoes righted and the people back in them, I was quietly sinking below the water and bobbing back up with increasing desperation.  I couldn't understand why no one was coming to help me!  It was obvious to me that I was dying, but no one else seemed to notice.  How was that possible?!  

Since then I've learned about something that life guards call, "The Instinctive Drowning Response."  You see, as it  turns out, drowning in real life looks nothing like drowning in the movies or on TV.  Drowning people do not thrash about or yell for help.  They can't.  All of their energy is being expended on getting above the water and catching as much breath as possible before they inevitably sink back beneath the surface.  They can't wave their arms because they are instinctively using their arms to push down on the water's surface in order to leverage their bodies and get their mouths above water. With that being the case, statistics show that half of all children who die each year from drowning do so within 25 yards of a parent or other adult who didn't recognize that they were drowning.

Have you ever felt that way in your day to day life?  Drowning, while no one notices?  Chances are you think it should be obvious.  You can't fathom why no one seems to see that you are living on the brink.  Survival, just making it through the day, is so consuming your thoughts and energy that you can't understand why others don't sense your desperation, despair, constant struggle.  

On that perfect day in Florida, we all got a reality check.  Starting with me.  Once the canoes were back in place and those who were obviously endangered were in the clear, my father came over to me.  In a loud voice he said, "Stand up!"  I could not respond verbally or physically.  I kept sinking below the surface frantically climbing this invisible ladder that would bring me back up just long enough to gasp for air before I went back under.  Finally he grabbed me by my shoulders lifted me slightly and said again, louder and right to my face, "Carla, Stand up!"  With my head now being held above the water by his strong arms, I could respond.  Coughing and sputtering, I extended my legs and to my unfathomable surprise the river bottom was not far below.  I had been drowning in water that only came up to chest.  At any point I could have stretched out my legs, found solid ground and caught my breath, but I didn't know that.  I had no idea that my salvation was that close, that accessible, and my family had no idea that I was in danger.  Frightening, isn't it?

This memory surfaced for me this week while I was watching online as Louie Giglio taught a lesson at the Passion 2013 conference in Atlanta.  He shared two different stories from the Bible where people were healed or brought back to life, but the final step in that restoration process involved them "standing to their feet."  That is a powerful image for me.  Stand up!  Bear your own weight!  You are not a victim, you have what you need to carry on!

If you feel like you are drowning and no one is noticing, rest assured, the Solid Rock is beneath you.  It will require you transferring some of your energy from trying to stay afloat into remembering the One who put breath in your lungs to begin with, and that transfer of thought and energy will feel like a risk - but it is one that will pay off.  In Jeremiah 29:13 (NIV) God says, "You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart."  You will also be required to look at those around you a bit differently.  The answer is, No.  They can't tell that you are in despair, in danger.  It isn't always as obvious as you feel like it is.  People are busy and their thought lives are complicated (they have their own canoes tipping over left and right), that doesn't mean that they wouldn't come and support you while reminding you of the solid ground beneath you if they knew you needed that help.  Find a way to reach out - this too will feel like a risk, but it is one that will eventually pay off.  It helps if you reach out to those who aren't also drowning.  Someone standing on solid ground is much better equipped to help you find your footing than someone who is frantically climbing that invisible ladder too.

If you are one of the ones standing safely on the Rock, don't wait for those around you to completely slip below the surface before you reach out to them.  In real life, people drowning emotionally and spiritually don't look like they are drowning either.  They are often spending so much of their energy just trying to get through the day that they don't ask you for help or even know where to begin to describe the peril they are in.  Just like I didn't, couldn't respond to my Dad's instruction from afar to "Stand Up!" until he gripped me by the shoulders - others will need you to get closer than shouting distance in order to feel safe enough to try the suggestions you have for their relief from suffering.  And you'll need to be close enough to see that they need your help.  "Be devoted to one another in brotherly love.  Honor one another above yourselves. Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Share with God's people who are in need. Practice hospitality." - Romans 12:10-13 NIV.


(P.S. - After that day, as a five year old, my parents enrolled me in swimming lessons at a local pool.  I was terrified, but at their insistence I learned to swim - a skill that serves me well to this day.  If you have found yourself emotionally or spiritually drowning at some point don't be satisfied with temporary relief - get involved in a local Bible believing church, seek biblical counseling, make an appointment with a Christian physician, build your support system and gain the tools you need so that the next time the "water feels too deep" you will have what you need to survive and persevere.)

(P.P.S. - The point of this post wasn't really about physical drowning, but since I brought it up, here is a link to help us notice the signs of someone who is in distress in the water.  It is good information for all of us to have!)

I've lost nothing, personally.  Not a family member or friend.  Not even a community member or a friend of a friend.  Yet, my stomach churns and the tears flow.  

I find myself asking... Do I get it now?  Do I recognize the frailty of life?  Is this what it takes to wake up a 30-something wife and mother to the reality that she will eventually lose every relationship and every earthly thing - either when they pass on to eternity or when she does?  


Everything on this earth can and will be shaken.  Do I really understand that now?  If I do, how then shall I live?

Is this a wake-up call to YOLO living? You do only live once, after all.

Is this a wake-up call to pursue a cause?  Gun control? Anti-gun control? Better care and more options for those with mental illnesses?  Surely some action should be taken, after all.

Is this a wake-up call to love my family more fully? Do I need to become more involved in my son's school? Devote more time to family activities? Visit relatives more frequently? Family is important, after all.

Is this a wake-up call to be more observant? Do I need to pay closer attention to the people around me who may show signs of being unstable? Should I think back on every person I've known through the years and see who might fit a profile? After all, If I don't notice, who will?

Over the coming days and weeks, Americans will be encouraged to do all of these things by a variety of people we have likely never met nor will we ever meet - newscasters, political figures, heads of movements - and we may even be challenged to examine some of these things by our own family and friends.  We are awake now, and when you are awake it is time to get up and do something.

So what shall we do?  How shall we live in a world where horrible things  happen without a single warning?  Here are some suggestions the Bible offers for living "fully awake:"

1. Know God.  At the end of the day, everything in this world can be shaken and taken.  Make it a point to know the only One who cannot.  There is no excuse for not getting to know Him.  Romans 1:20 NIV: "For since the creation of the world God’s invisible qualities—his eternal power and divine nature—have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that people are without excuse."  The unshakable, unchangeable God of the universe invites you to know Him:  James 4:8-10 NIV - "Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. Grieve, mourn and wail. Change your laughter to mourning and your joy to gloom. Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up."

2. Be Kind, Forgiving and Joyful.  Pray and Give Thanks to God.  Once you know God and you are steadily learning more about Him more, you inevitably want to know what He wants from your life.  What is his will?  1 Thessalonians 5:15-18 - "Make sure that nobody pays back wrong for wrong, but always strive to do what is good for each other and for everyone else. Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances;for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus."


3. Spread His Hope, Lovingly.  Don't keep His light to yourself.  The world is a dark place.  Don't just be glad for the Holy Spirit's unquenchable flame in your life; share it with others.  1 Peter 3:15 NIV - "But in your hearts, set apart Christ as Lord.  Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have.  But do this with gentleness and respect."  


We can do these things, and by God's grace, though outwardly we may be wasting away as the world turns on, inwardly we can be renewed day by day (2 Corinthians 4:16).  


It will take people who are being inwardly renewed day by day to keep up the good fight - to live life knowing we only have so many days on earth, to respectfully and passionately pursue causes worth pursuing, to love our families selflessly, and to be truly observant and mindful of those around us.


"For this reason it says, 'Awake, Sleeper, and arise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you." - Ephesians 5:14

A Psalm of Life
Tell me not in mournful numbers,
Life is but an empty dream!
For the soul is dead that slumbers,
And things are not what they seem.

Life is real! Life is earnest!
And the grave is not its goal;
Dust thou are, to dust thou returnest,
Was not spoken of the soul.

Not enjoyment, and not sorrow,
Is our destined end or way;
But to act, that each tomorrow
Find us farther than today.

Art is long, and Time is fleeting,
And our hearts, though stout and brave,
Still, like muffled drums, are beating
Funeral marches to the grave.

In the world's broad field of battle,
In the bivouac of Life,
Be not like dumb, driven cattle!
Be a hero in the strife!

Trust no Future, howe'er pleasant!
Let the dead Past bury its dead!
Act, - act in the living Present!
Heart within, and God o'erhead!

Lives of great men all remind us
We can make our lives sublime,
And, departing, leave behind us
Footprints on the sand of time;

Footprints, that perhaps another,
Sailing o'er life's solenm main,
A forlorn and shipwrecked brother,
Seeing, shall take heart again.

Let us then be up and doing, 
With a heart for any fate; 
Still achieving, still pursuing, 
Learn to labor and to wait. 



Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

A friend recently posted this audio recording from one of Moody Bible Institute's chapel services.  The speaker is Rosalie de Rosset and her message is timely and simultaneously convicting and refreshing.  After listening to it, I immediately purchased her book of essays entitled, "Unseduced and Unshaken - The Place of Dignity in a Young Woman's Choices."  

A couple of my favorite quotes from the book so far include:

"Dignity is a strong, chosen, deliberate way of life, the result of the totality of a person's choices and worldview."

"If your faith matters, your mind matters.  If your mind matters, it is important what you do with it, theologically and intellectually.  You cannot separate your spiritual life from the life of the mind.  You can't be fully human without using wisely all the faculties God has given you.  They are intertwined; one will not thrive without the other.  In neglecting one or the other, you will live a small, shriveled existence."

I also appreciated her reflection on the character of Bilbo Baggins from J.R.R. Tolkien's The Hobbit, "Gandalf tells the reluctant and unlikely hero, 'There is more to you than you know,' more in this instance than doing what he has always done.  The wise magician knows that Bilbo has become addicted to that cozy rabbit hole; he likes eating and drinking well, he likes being comfortable.  But Gandalf knows that Bilbo has two sides to his nature, that 'within the hobbit's veins coursed the blood not only from the sedentary Baggins side of the family but also from the swashbuckling Took side.'  Bilbo has gotten used to the sedentary side, and after all, he's not doing anything wrong; he's just a nice, even generous, placid hobbit who knows how to have a good time, who fits into his community.  But, something transcendent is calling to Bilbo - telling him there is more to life than this, that there are adventures to be had on a heroic scale, that there is good and evil in this world, and he has to be part of fighting the wrongs."

I have met and been inspired by many young women who also feel that something transcendent is calling them, that there is more to life than having the most friends on Facebook, than knowing everything that happened on Glee last week, more than having a comfortable, popular life.  They are right.  They can be a part of fighting the wrongs in this world, and they can do so while maintaining dignity and spiritual fervor, growing in wisdom and faith along the way.  And, thanks be to God, So can I.  But none of us will get there without being ready to sacrifice along the way - giving up our "addiction to our cozy rabbit hole".  I am thankful to writers and teachers like Rosalie de Rossert for cheering on this generation of young people and affirming their sense of calling to something deeper, richer, and more rewarding than the status quo.  

Romans 12:11-12 NIV, "Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord.  Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer."


1 Timothy 4:12 NASB, "Let no one look down on your youthfulness, but rather in speech, conduct, love, faith and purity, show yourself an example to those who believe."

This weekend, some friends took Tim and I to the Southern Ohio Indoor Music Festival.  It wasn't my first time hearing bluegrass music, but it was my first time at a bluegrass FESTIVAL.  As I sip my coffee this morning and think back on the experience, I can't help but think the church (global and local) could learn a lot from the bluegrass music culture.  

CHURCH, Listen up!

1. People really cared about each other and they showed it.  This festival is an annual event.  During the course of the concerts this weekend, people who were not in attendance for various reasons were appropriately acknowledged.  It was evident that while the music is what initially draws people to the festival, the friendships and family-feel is what keeps people coming back year after year.  Examples: One lady who ran a booth each year was unable to attend this year because of health problems.  The festival organizers left several sheets of stationery in the vendor room for people who would notice she was missing to write her encouraging messages and let her know she was missed.  One of the performers lost his mother to cancer a few weeks before the festival.  A last minute raffle was organized and people donated to breast cancer research (raising over $2,500) in her memory at the event.  Local church - how can you show people in your congregation that they matter?  That their losses matter to you?  That their presence and involvement matters to you?
2. Young people were celebrated and involved in every part of the event.  Young people, ages 11 and up, were prominently featured at the festival.  Some were musicians who played on the big stage right alongside those who had been playing for decades, honing their raw talent.  Others were working at the vendor booths, working back stage, or helping check in the musicians' instruments between sets.  The bluegrass culture quite naturally celebrates senior adults, but they go out of their way to honor young people and to involve them and embrace them.  Local church, young people are the future of your congregation.  How can you embrace their talents, energy and perspective?  How can you bring them along and include them in every area of ministry?
3. The music was equal parts serious, fun, and inspiring.  When people think of bluegrass music, most will think of Dueling Banjos or something upbeat and knee-slapping from Oh Brother Where Art Thou.  That kind of music is a part of bluegrass but it isn't everything.  Bluegrass music can be soulful, serious, reflective, and even silly and down-right funny sometimes.  It pays homage to EVERY human emotion, not just the ones people deem pleasant.  While you might go to a concert to hear Dueling Banjos, you may very well leave thinking about something that you never even realized was a part of the bluegrass scene.  Local church, Don't be a one trick pony.  God created individuals to be creative, unique, and infinitely variable.  When the church reflects that reality it brings more glory to God, not less. Our music, teaching, events, programs, prayers, outreach and ceremonies can and should have variety and at times should be unexpected.
4. There is no competition in bluegrass. If you have attended a concert, but not a festival, you might be under the impression that it is each musician/band out for themselves.  When you sit through a day or two of music with multiple bands present however, you quickly find that they all know each other and they are all very much family.  Their goal is a common one - to play great music and to see bluegrass music enjoyed and carried on as a genre.  It is very common during a band's performance for them to bring up other artists to the stage for a comedy routine or a special song that they will collaborate on.  As the festival goes on this happens more and more frequently and at the end a finale might include 4, 5, or 6 different groups all playing together simply for the joy of the music that they share.  Local Church, you are not in competition with other denominations or the church down the street.  Embrace your commonalities for the good of your people and for the good of the cause of Christ.  Celebrate each other.  Work together whenever possible.
5. Bluegrass music is not about perfection.  There were several points during the festival when mistakes were made by the singers and musicians.  They were obvious at times and more subtle at others. One particular moment occurred when the host of the festival couldn't seem to find the right note to start an a capella song with his band.  He didn't try to act like it wasn't happening.  He made us all comfortable with his struggle by acknowledging it, humorously even.  We were drawn to him and rooting for him.  Someone brought him a bottle of water and the show went on and the song was great!  It didn't take away from the festival one bit... in fact, that moment enriched the festival! People were reminded that the players on stage were just as human as they could be and that they were up there to be a blessing and to bring joy, not to be superhuman and without imperfection.  Local Church, do not fear imperfection.  The more you cling to perfection and demand it, the more you set people up to feel distanced from what is going on within your four walls rather than drawn to it.

I hope everyone reading this gets a chance to go to a bluegrass music festival at some point, but more than that I hope that you get yourselves involved in a local church and be people who make the church more joy-filled and effective in its work.  

Romans 12:3-5 
3 For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the measure of faith God has given you. 4 Just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, 5 so in Christ we who are many form one body, and each member belongs to all the others. 

If I had gone to the Cheesecake Factory today by myself, I never would have tasted these.  These are Avocado Eggrolls and they are DELICIOUS.  I never would have ordered them on my own though. Never.  I have my standard order and I don't vary from it much.  I have my Cheesecake Factory favorite and I stick with it.

But today, I went with my husband, my son, my mother-in-law (Sandy), and my father-in-law (Jim).  Jim and Sandy like to go to the Cheesecake Factory near their home sometimes and just order appetizers and drinks.  Having tried several appetizers, they now know what they like best, so they ordered the avocado eggrolls and some calamari for us all to enjoy before our entrees, and I am so glad they did!  I enjoyed every bite.

So this got me thinking... We really are better together, folks.  We weren't meant to walk through life alone - picking out our favorites (places, food, books, movies, jobs, stores, bible verses, activities, etc.) and sticking with them.  We were meant to walk through life together, to rub shoulders with many different people and experience their favorites along with our own; opening our senses to the world as THEY perceive it.  We won't always love the world as others show it to us.  Sometimes we won't be able to relate at all, but even if we don't share their view we will have a clearer, broader perspective when all is said and done.

Once during my childhood my grandparents traveled from Florida to visit my family in Arizona.  We were so excited to take them to see the Grand Canyon!  We couldn't wait to show off the beautiful scenery and watch them take their first breathtaking glimpse of God's creative power on display.  I will never forget them getting out of the car taking a look over the edge and NOT BEING IMPRESSED AT ALL.  It was just a big hole in the ground to them.  For a long time this frustrated me.  I just couldn't understand it. I even blamed them for not having a stronger reaction, but at the end of the day: they saw it.  Whether it moved them or not, they saw it.  They had that experience in their back pocket for the rest of their days and no one could take it from them.  For me the Grand Canyon was a place where God was to be worshiped and where my imagination ran wild.  For my grandparents the Grand Canyon was a place that made them glad they lived in Florida where there are lush green trees and warm, sandy beaches and not in Arizona where deserts are beautiful, but harsh and desolate too.

Regardless of whether our time spent with others trying new things, exploring THEIR favorites, shows us what we have in common or brings into stark contrast our differences, it is time well spent.  

So my question today is, when was the last time you sampled someone else's favorite anything?  When was the last time you stepped out of your routine and asked someone to show you a piece of the world through their eyes?  A new sight, a new taste, a new perspective/opinion, a new hobby, a new labor, a new way of doing something you've always done?  

You never know... it might just be a hole in the ground, but it could be THE GRAND CANYON!  It's worth a shot.  

This is a genuine Guess watch.  Well, most of one anyway. Are you impressed?  

When I was in junior high school, Guess jeans were all the rage.  They were also very expensive.  I longed for a pair of Guess jeans with all the longing a pre-teen girl can long with (and that's a lot of longing).   If only I could have even one pair of  Guess jeans with the upside down triangle on the back pocket, I knew that I would have arrived.   

There were times during those years of desperation when I actually had enough cash in my pocket to buy a pair of Guess jeans, but I was raised frugally, and I just couldn't bring myself to spend that much money on a pair of pants, even though I longed for them!  I knew I could buy an entire outfit for the cost of one pair of those jeans, maybe even two outfits if I caught a good sale, and that knowledge kept me from fulfilling my longing.  I knew the price was impractical, even if the pants were appealing.  

Instead, I settled for a Guess watch - the cheapest one I could find that still had the logo prominently displayed.  I cherished that watch.  I wore it so much that the band eventually broke.  I wore it anyway.  I clung to this one item in my collection of clothing/accessories that at least resembled something that my peers had deemed valuable.  As I was going through boxes and trunks of old mementos trying to prepare for another move, I smiled when i came across this watch.  Then I asked myself WHY had I kept this broken watch for so many years?  Through so many moves (California, Tennessee, Pennsylvania, Ohio)?  

I think it is because I was so proud of my little 11/12 year old self!  Looking at that watch made me remember a little girl who had enough resolve to have restraint, enough conviction to satisfy a craving with a "taste" of something rather than a feast, enough sense to choose to be satisfied. With a few more years under my belt now, and a great deal more perspective, I can look back at those pre-teen years and realize that if I had owned a pair of Guess jeans, it wouldn't have improved my social standing one little bit.  It might have made me feel differently about myself for a little while, but not very long.  Something else would have come along that I "had to have," and the cycle would begin all over again.

At some point growing up I had known my parents' favor when I exhibited financial discernment, and it kept me from walking down a path in junior high and high school where fitting in would become increasingly more demanding and expensive.  Today, my husband and I (by God's grace) are debt-free.  What a life-long blessing reaped from an early lesson learned!  Now I long to be faithful to pass on similar lessons and point out the inner beauty and potential in the young people I cross paths with.  

Looking back at that watch makes me want to be more intentional about praising the young people in my life for the intangible things that make up their character.  It is so easy to give compliments on the external things (beauty, style, athletic ability, talent, performance), but it takes more careful attention and care to compliment young adults on the inner strengths  they possess; the intangibles that can help prevent externals from becoming all-important.  Traits like kindness, spiritual insight, joy, compassion, frugality, generosity, and patience.  

Some suggestions for focusing deeper in our compliments:
Instead of "Good game!" - "You are a great team player!  I love how aware you were of your teammates and their strengths."  or "You exhibited a lot of patience in that game.  It was a long one and you never gave up or gave into frustration."  or maybe "I can tell that you are a great leader on your team.  The other players really seem to respect you as a teammate and I enjoyed watching you in action."
Instead of "You are so talented!" - "I could see the joy you have shine through while you were playing (singing, etc.).  It made me enjoy the music even more."  or "I know it must take a lot of practice and hard work to prepare for a performance like that.  Keep up the good work, your discipline is paying off!"
Instead of "You are so nice." or "What a sweetheart you are!"  - maybe we could be more specific like, "You just went out of your way to help me with that and you didn't have to.  Your kindness is a blessing!"  or "I have noticed that you are always looking out for others.  I know it isn't always easy to be compassionate, but I know that God will use that kind of an attitude to bless many.  Keep it up!"


What are your ideas?  What inner strength were you encouraged to embrace as a young adult that has paid off later in life?  Can you still remember a particular phrase or person that helped keep you from focusing on the wrong things?

I read a blog post this week written by a home-schooling mother of 12 children who admits she is still learning how to play with her kids.  Parenting children is so multi-faceted, that no one has it all together... NO ONE.  We all lack in one area or another... teaching, patience, playfulness, discipline, conversation, spiritual training, consistency, just as soon as we have it together in one area, we are made aware of our deficiency in another.  Maybe this is why so many people who stop going to church in their early 20's end up returning to church after they have kids!  We all need HELP!  

Today we had some kids Timmy's age over for the afternoon to play games and make cookies.  There are some days when that would sound like pure torture to me, then there are days like today, when nothing could have pleased me more.  The hitch is that, whether I feel like it or not, these are the sorts of things that my son needs to have as part of his life just to help him BE A KID and ENJOY BEING A KID!  

It is so easy for me to just expect Timmy to act like an adult.  He's outnumbered in our house, after all.  But when I really think about it, he has the rest of his life to be an adult and to carry that kind of responsibility around with him, so just like it is up to me to make sure he is ready for adulthood, it is also up to me to make sure he doesn't miss out on a CHILDhood.  Here are some of the things that I have found that have helped Timmy find his giggle:

1. Baking/Cooking Together.  Not the kind where I am the taskmaster and he is my hopeless assistant, but the kind where I let my high-and-lofty standards down and just enjoy being together and creating something yummy.  Today we baked cookies.  The measurements were not as precise as I would have liked.  Guess what... the cookies still tasted great.
2. Watching Cartoons Together.  This is a weekly thing that Tim does with his Dad.  They sit down for half an hour to an hour one day a week and catch up on a cartoon that Tim loves.  They laugh out loud together and that is a good thing.  It isn't the same when he watches it alone.
3. Occasionally Embracing Weird Sounds.  There is a reason that stores sell whoopie cushions!  Some noises are just plain funny.  While making those sounds at the dinner table is discouraged, there are certain times when we just relax enough to admit that armpit flatulence and other weird sounds are not just permitted, they should be embraced...loudly.  
4. Say Goofy Things.  When you say something (intentionally or not) that strikes a child's funny bone and makes them giggle - give in to it and go with it!  Today, Timmy said he was "dumb" while we were baking because he didn't know how to open the salt container.  I told him that he wasn't dumb, he was "uninformed."  This sparked a 5 minute giggle fest where the kids took turns and acted out the difference between dumb and uninformed.  
5. Camp-Outs Are a Must.  I am not an outdoorsy girl, but there are things that happen on camp-outs, even the backyard variety, that won't happen anywhere else.  You just gotta do it at least once! Preferably more.
6. Getting Dirty is A-Okay.  Every kid should have certain clothes and shoes that are designated for getting dirty and it should be 100% okay for them to end up that way.  As adults, getting dirty tends to involve work - gardening, cleaning, working on a vehicle, etc.  For kids, getting dirty should be fun!  Dirt piles, mud puddles, dusty baseball diamonds, grassy hills to roll down, this is where the fun happens.
7. Getting Wet Doesn't Always Require a Swim Suit.  If you find yourself at a creek, near sprinklers, somewhere with water guns, etc. with a child, with more than 15minutes to spare - let the kid get wet!  Clothes dry, but moments pass all too quickly.  
8. Learn About What They Are Interested In.  Kids fixate on things... Pokemon, Dinosaurs, Horses, Cars, Paper Airplanes, Jumping Rope, you name it, a kid has fixated on it at some point.  Join them in their interest!  Show them that if it is important enough to capture their attention then it is important enough to capture yours, even if it is silly and not-very-adult-like.  
9. Arrange Times for Them to Be With Friends. Preferably for extended periods of time when possible - sleepovers, summer camp, things like that.  
10. Play Board Games Together.  If you don't have any, come borrow some from us!  Board games involve an extended period of time of sitting around a table or on the living room floor, just being together, face-to-face, with the only goal being to have a good time and laugh with each other.  

As I write this, I am reminded of so many children who grew up or are growing up far too quickly because of the bad decisions of those who were supposed to care for them, or because of a tragedy of some sort.  Maybe you are one of them.  We can't change the past, but we can do simple things today with the kids that God puts into our lives (related to us or not) to make sure that childhood is not lost.  

What are your ideas?

Arguments happen.  Sometimes they NEED to happen.  Sometimes the resolution to a short-term or an ongoing problem will not come WITHOUT a healthy argument. I know, I know, all you anti-conflict people out there are not liking where this is going one little bit.  I know because I am one of you.  If there is a way to avoid a conflict, I typically find it and take it.  Conflict is uncomfortable and sometimes scary, for one reason and one reason only - we don't know how it will end.  

There are times, however, when "the known" becomes unacceptable and we must step foot into conflict, hoping that the unknown will eventually be better.  Since conflict is inevitable, how do we walk into it with a mind-set that will have the best chance of making the most of the disagreement and help us reach common ground with the fewest battle wounds possible?  

1. Guard your words as if you were guarding Fort Knox.  Don't exaggerate!  Don't think of the next thing you are going to say while the other person is speaking.  Don't let your emotions surrounding the issue allow you to say hurtful or untrue things.  James 1:26 NIV says, "If anyone considers himself religious and yet does not keep a tight rein on his tongue, he deceives himself and his religion is worthless."  Words matter.  Keep in mind that what you say and how you say it are the only things you have control over in an argument.  
2. Expect the best possible outcome, but be at peace with the worst case scenario. Don't go into a disagreement expecting it to end badly.  Many times, conflict HAS TO HAPPEN in order for things to change and move in a better direction, so we shouldn't fear it.  Instead, we should pray for the ability to see how it could be used for good.  At the same time, we have to make peace with the fact that: A. We cannot control the reactions of others, and B. We cannot control the amount of time it will take others to process what we have to say (aka: the disagreement may not be resolved in 5 minutes flat).  With that in mind, we also need to pray for the ability to identify the worst case scenario accurately and have peace with it.  Peace and happiness aren't the same thing.  Isaiah 26:3 NIV says, "You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you."  Happiness isn't always possible.  Peace is.
3. Spend plenty of time searching your own heart and clearing your own conscience before and DURING your argument.  I don't know who is reading this, but my guess is, You Ain't Perfect!  Listen to what the other person is saying and take responsibility for the results of your own words, attitude and actions, even if you didn't intend for hurtful results.  Your apology and admission of imperfection goes a long way toward leveling the playing field and helping bring about reconciliation and change.  Don't let pride get in the way.  Matthew 7:5 NIV puts it pretty bluntly: "You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye."
4. Keep the purpose of the argument in mind.  Don't get distracted by the argument itself.  How many times have you started out arguing with someone about one thing and then ended up arguing about something else entirely before all was said and done?  This is foolish!  Don't let emotions or side comments derail you.  Keep the goal of reconciliation and positive change in mind and flatly refuse to follow any rabbit trail that leads away from that or complicates matters.  State the purpose of the conversation frequently, clearly and without holier-than-thou overtones to make sure that the person you are in disagreement with understands that you aren't just picking a fight... you WANT resolution.
5. Keep your heart soft toward the other person.  At the end of the day, you are no better or worse than he or she is.  You may be right, but it doesn't make you better.  Don't mentally turn the other person into something in your mind that is beyond redemption or repair.  There will come a day when you will be entirely in the wrong, and completely unaware of it.  How do you desire to be treated on that day?  In Matthew 19:8 (NIV), Jesus says, "Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning."  Arguments don't end repairable relationships - hard hearts do.

I need to be reminded of these things today and every day.

Happy Independence Day!  We Ritzes are getting ready to do what many other Americans are anticipating today as well - spending time with friends, enjoying hamburgers and hot dogs from the grill, making homemade ice cream, playing games, relaxing and hopefully taking in some fireworks later this evening.  This morning as I think about what this day means to our country, I am also pausing to think about the the idea of independence, and how truly illusive it is.

It seems that, as individuals, just as we declare our independence from one person, idea, season of life, pattern of behavior, or situation - another area of dependence is revealed.  We cannot escape it.  Our country has not been able to escape it either.  Dependency is a lifelong lesson-learning opportunity.  Figuring out what we are dependent on, deciding if it is a healthy dependency, and if the extent of the dependency is appropriate and then adjusting relationships and behaviors as needed to bring balance.  We do this over and over and over again throughout our lifetime.

We seek this balance in each of our relationships, in our work life, in our financial planning, in our decision making, and in our spiritual life.  When we become overly dependent or overly independent in any area, things start to breakdown and we begin to suffer and, as much as we don't want to admit it, those closest to us suffer as well.

I once heard this quote: "The only entity that can completely control your life without ultimately destroying it is God."  He is the only One we can ultimately be wholly and completely dependent on without negative consequences.  Jesus himself said in John 15:5 NIV, "I am the vine, you are the branches.  If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit.  Apart from Me, you can do nothing."   YOU CAN DO NOTHING apart from Him.  If that isn't a call to acknowledging complete dependency on God and God alone, then I don't know what is.  When anything else in our lives, other than God, demands this kind of dependency we get very uncomfortable very quickly, and if/when we become this dependent on anything other than God things fall apart just as quickly.

On this Independence Day, as we celebrate the blessings of life and freedom in the United States, let us also consider the reality of our own dependency on God and ask ourselves a few penetrating questions to see if we are experiencing the most life and freedom in Christ possible:

1. What one thing or person in my life do I feel like I truly cannot live without?  Why?  Do I really have any control over whether or not this thing/person remains in my life?  

2. What good thing am I doing in my life right now that I would likely stop doing if I didn't have the support I currently have?  How did I become dependent on this support in order to do the right thing?  

3. Who am I allowing to depend on me inappropriately and how?  Why have I allowed this?  How can I stop this for that person's benefit?

4. How am I demonstrating the reality of my dependency on God on a daily basis?  Can any one else in my life tell that I acknowledge this dependence?  What is one change I can make today to release my dependency on people/things and embrace my dependency on God?

I just finished the first week of a training program that is supposed to get me off the couch and running a 5K (3.1 miles) in nine short weeks.  The first week involves a 25 minute workout that alternates 60 seconds of jogging with 90 seconds of walking, three times per week.  As the program progresses, walking time will decrease and jogging time will increase.  Yikes!

In the spirit of not taking myself or this very minor accomplishment too seriously, here are the top five things I learned prior to 7am today during my 25 minutes of jog/walking:

1. Ants, apparently, get up earlier than I do and are tougher than I am.  As I was stretching at the track before my workout, I noticed little bits of "stuff" moving slowly on the ground beneath my feet.  I realized they were hundreds of tiny ants carrying food-stuffs many times their body weight to an unknown location.  They reminded me that I have a hard enough time carrying my own body weight.  Show offs.

2. An idea of blogging about a Taylor Swift song and relating it to a deep spiritual truth, is probably the runner's high talking.  Mid-way through my jog/walk, I actually had this "brilliant" idea to somehow relate Taylor's single "Our Song" to my relationship with God.  Those endorphins can create CRAZY TALK in your brain, I tell ya.  Beware!

3. The only place it is acceptable for me to wear spandex shorts is at the track at 6:00am when no one else is around.  I think I burned more calories constantly adjusting those crazy shorts  to keep them from sliding down or riding up than I did while actually jogging/walking.  Thank God for long, baggy t-shirts.

4. Getting spiritual while exercising is for the advanced, not the amateur.  Toward the end of my workout, as I finally realized this was going to end (eventually) and wasn't, in fact, going to kill me, I had the bright idea to pray for my friends and family during each of the 90 seconds of walking (praying for myself was all I could manage during the 60 seconds of jogging... more specifically, praying that I'd suck it up and not be a wuss and quit).  Sounds reasonable enough, right, except that when I would pray while I walked I would lose track of time and the 90 seconds of blessed walking would go by too fast or I'd feel gipped somehow or I'd go longer than 90 seconds and mess up the rules of the workout plan (I'm nothing if not a rule follower).  Bah!  #AmateurProblems

5. Having something poking you in your shoe while jogging can make you look insane.  If you were hiding behind a tree or sitting in a car somewhere, or were flying overhead in an airplane, or had concealed yourself in some other way this morning, and you had the misfortune of watching my workout while I thought I was all alone - I apologize and I feel I must explain.  I HAD SOMETHING IN MY SHOE!  All those crazy moves, random kicks and shakes, and the stomping, and toe tapping all while trying to continue moving in a forward direction without falling down, must have made me look a bit off my rocker.  Perhaps I am...

Starting on Friday, I will be jogging for 90 seconds and walking for 2 minutes for a total of 25 minutes a day, three times per week.  Heaven help me!  I'll keep ya posted on the hilarity that ensues and the poignant lessons learned.  I know you're on the edge of your seat.

PS - I love the little girl in the picture above.  I don't know her, but I love her.  I found her on Pinterest.  I am not making fun of her, I am making fun of myself... she is, quite obviously, trying to dodge the bubbles that are about to land on her head and that is serious business indeed.