I am not tempted by course talk, generally not one to gossip (or when I do, I am almost immediately convicted), seldom utter hateful words, and am not given to slander.  On any given day, I choose my words carefully.  When I read scripture about taming the tongue, I often see those verses as good reminders, but not something I particularly need to dwell on.  I'm a careful, cautious girl... rarely fly off the handle... those verses are for other people, right?

Recently, God has shown me that these verses are indeed for me.  Here are some of the things I'm learning, and they all center around allowing the Holy Spirit to be the prompter for when to speak and when not to:
1. Just because you have an answer, doesn't mean you need to give it.  This brings to mind Hermione Granger from the Harry Potter books.  She was always the first to have her hand up and always had the right answer, much to her classmates chagrin.  I am no longer a formal student, but I can certainly find myself spouting off "the right answer," in other contexts without thinking first or paying attention to those around me.  Sometimes the process of arriving at the "right answer" is just as important as the answer itself.  Everyone having a voice and a chance to process things at their own pace, these things have value.
James 1:26 "If you claim to be religious but don't control your tongue, you are fooling yourself and your religion is worthless."  NLT
2. Just because you are thinking about something and it is weighing heavily on your mind doesn't meant that now is the time to share it.  I am a thinker.  I can get very wrapped up in my own head and at times get to a point where I feel like I have to express everything I am thinking.  Why?  To have my thoughts validated or nullified by others?  Because I've grown impressed with my own thinking and need to be affirmed for my genius?   Because surely if an idea is consuming my thoughts it must be important to others as well?  There is a time and a place for every word to be uttered.  When I share a thought with someone just because I feel a need to get it out of my brain and hear myself say it out loud, without first considering who my audience is and whether or not it is really time to share that thought... I get in trouble. I either share with the wrong person, or share at the wrong time and end up having to eat my words.
Proverbs 21:23 "He who guards his mouth and his tongue, guards his soul from troubles." NASB
3. If there are not thoughts/words that are just between you and God, how close of a relationship do you really have with Him?  One of the things that is so precious about my relationship with my husband is that there are words, thoughts and ideas that we have shared with each other that we haven't shared with anyone else on the planet.  This makes our relationship special and develops trust and intimacy.  Think of  your best friend when you were a child and how you shared things with her/him that you didn't tell anyone else, and how that strengthened your bond.  Some things need to remain between us and God - not to be secretive, but to build relationship, trust and intimacy with Him.  I love the movie, Miracle on 34th Street (the newer version in particular).  There is a scene where little Susan is struggling with whether or not to believe in Santa Claus and her mother suggests to her that she ask Mr. Kringle for something that she would never ask her mother for and then if she gets it on Christmas morning, she will know that he really is Santa Claus.  If we never trust anything just to God (telling him and asking him about things we don't share with others), we won't have the deep, awe-inspiring pleasure of hearing/seeing him answer us in a personal way that proves who He is and how He feels about us.  We'll settle for lesser manifestations, getting to know a God who loves the world but missing out on the God who loves us individually.
Matthew 6:6 - "But when you pray, go away by yourself, shut the door behind you, and pray to your Father in private. Then your Father, who sees everything, will reward you." NLT

Timmy had a day off of school today, so he and I decided to drive to the next town over to do some shopping, and errand running, and movie watching, and eating together.  A mom-son date with a fifth grade boy is always an adventure... here are some of the highlights:

• Me: "Tim, can you think of anything we need at the store?"  Tim: "Hmmm, a death ray!"  Me: "What?!"  Tim: "Don't worry, Mom, I would only use it to catch fish."
• Me: "Should we eat at the Olive Garden for lunch?"  Tim: "Ooooh, yeah!  All the soup I can eat!  I hope that Thor is there."  Me: "Who is Thor?!"  Tim: "You know, the guy who says, 'I AM THE SON OF ODEN'"  Me: "Friend of yours?"  Tim: "Oh yeah, we go way back."  *smirks* "Mom, you are so weird."  Me:  "I am so weird????"  "Why would Thor be at the Olive Garden anyway?"  Tim: "Why wouldn't he be?"
  
• After lunch at the Olive Garden, Tim made a comment that he was excited that he'd be taking the PSSA tests in Williamsport this year because some of his friends would be there.  He listed off their names (mostly girls), and said it would be "good to start a relationship."  I knew he meant it innocently, but I teased him that 10 years old was a little early to start a relationship and asked him when he expected to get married.  "Twelve," he joked.  I showed my displeasure by eating both of the Andes mints the waitress brought.  HA, that will teach him!
• We went to the theatre to see Journey 2 and it was closed.. weird.  We drove across town to the other movie theatre in town and they were sold out!  Such is life.
• We went to Barnes and Noble and Timmy chose a book in one minute flat.  Fastest. Trip. To. A. Bookstore. EVER.
• We went to the grocery store and he sat in the car and read half the book while I shopped.  I told him to call 911 if anyone reached in the car window and tried to grab him.  He looked at me to see if I was kidding, then rolled the window up so no hands could reach in... just in case.  :)
• We went to the mall and I had to convince him that he COULD in fact get his hair cut in a mall salon and he wouldn't leave looking like a girl.  He told the stylist that he didn't want any gel in his hair, but when he got home he asked if I would spike it for him.  (I love this kid.)
• We bought him some new tennis shoes.  They are black and grey with NEON GREEN.  He kept checking with me to make sure I liked them and he was thrilled when he found out they were on sale.  (I've taught him well.)
• We ran in to two of his friends in different places around town. he went out of his way to say hello to them.  (I really love this kid.)
• We got home and he helped me unload the car without being asked.  

Pretty great date if you ask me.