A Letter to My 20 Year Old Self

To My 20 Year Old Self,

Hi.  Do you have any idea how much potential you have?  No, you don’t; I know because I was you 17 years ago.  Let me enlighten you a bit from this side of 35, sweet girl.  God has wired you uniquely, hand-crafted your personality, your talents, your intelligence, and your creativity for a purpose.  Please, don’t get hung up on what that purpose is right now or how it will play out throughout your lifetime.  Please don’t let it paralyze you.  Please don’t lie awake at night fretting over whether or not to change your major or whether or not you’ll be able to get a job when you graduate or whether or not you’ll ever get married.  

Stick with what your prayers and your gut are telling you for now, for today and trust God with the future.  Concentrate on your character right now more than your path.  “The second half of a man’s life is made up of nothing but the habits he has acquired during the first half,” (Dostoevsky).   In the meantime, don’t pretend that you have got it all figured out, even if people expect you to.  Yes, your future may very well include things like a successful career, marriage, motherhood, influence, ministry and more; but it may not look anything like what you imagine those things to be right now – and that is a good thing. 

A successful career might be that position at the law office downtown or a low paying job that pays the rent and finds you doing something that you never knew you were made to do.  Marriage might mean a white wedding dress followed by 50+ years with a godly man or perhaps remaining loyal to God and God alone for the rest of your days.  Motherhood may include bringing up sons and daughters who come into your life through childbirth or adoption, or it could look more like mentoring girls and boys younger than you or foster-parenting for a season.  Influence may involve writing that book that everyone reads and raves about or it could be displayed more quietly as you devote time and attention to the handful of special people God puts under your care.  Ministry may involve travel and large crowds and the salvation of many, or it may be quietly holding the hands of those who no one else notices and introducing them to a Savior you’ll never be sure this side of heaven if they completely accept. 

Whatever lies ahead for you, rest assured, IT IS GOOD.  It is so good, that you can’t imagine something better, no matter how hard you try.  You can’t make it better by worrying about it now either, so don’t bother.  God is the one who makes it good and His work in your life isn’t dependent on your planning or fretting or manipulating your situation.  It is only dependent on your obedience.  Walk with Him.  Trust Him.  He knows the way.

“’For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord. ‘Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.’”  Jeremiah 29:11 NIV.  Believe Him that this is true, even when things are hard. 

“Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.” Psalm 37:4 ESV.  Trust that He knows your heart better than you know it yourself.

“Thy word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path.” Psalm 119:105 KJV. Learn to love God through relying on His word, the Bible.  It is relevant and it is breathtaking.

“The Lord directs our steps, so why try to understand everything along the way?” Proverbs 20:24 NLT.  Don’t be afraid to ask God “Why?” when you don’t understand the detours, but be willing to accept and keep moving forward when he answers with “I’m not going to tell you right now.”

Above all, commit to laying all of your plans and hopes and dreams at His feet on a regular basis.  Some of them He may one day give back to you, wrapped in his beautiful grace.  Others he will discard, because of His infinite mercy, replacing them with something that He desires you to have even more.  Either way, you will have your treasure – a life of meaning and purpose, and a relationship with the God who planned it that way from the beginning.

Love,

Me

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