I went to a local book sale yesterday.  It was in an old high school gymnasium and there were rows and rows of folding tables covered with all kinds of books, all for $2 or less.  I went SLOWLY up and down every aisle not wanting to miss a potential treasure.  The stack of books I walked away with made me laugh.  There is no rhyme or reason to the things that caught my attention, but I suppose that is also just part of who I am.  I like a multitude of authors,a plethora of genres, a variety of musicians, and don't even try to pin me down on what my favorite color or animal is!!  How can one get tied down to just one of ANYTHING?!? ... other than a spouse, of course.  :)

One of the books that caught my attention was, Faith of Our Fathers, by John McCain.  I brought it home (for 50 cents, no less), and started reading it last night.  In the prologue, are the following quotes:

Our family lived on the move, rooted not in a location, but in the culture of the Navy.  I learned from my mother not just to take the constant disruptions in stride, but to welcome them as elements of an interesting life.”

First made a migrant by the demands of my father’s career, in time I became self-moving, a rover by choice.  In such a life, some fine things are left behind, and missed.  But bad times are left behind as well.  You move on, remembering the good, while the bad grows obscure in the distance.” 

I had to pause after reading this section and think about the influence that John McCain's mother had on his life.  The book itself, is not about her.  It is about his father and his grandfather, who were both Four Star Admirals, and about McCain's own life and how he tried to live up to his impressive military heritage.  Even so, his mention of this gift of perspective from his mother in the prologue speaks volumes to me about the impact we can have in shaping our children's view of the context of their lives.  His father and grandfather gave him an example to strive toward and his mother gave him a proper perspective of the challenges of his military upbringing.  These influences came together, by God's grace, to make John McCain into a man who, later in life as a prisoner of war, had the fortitude to refuse a dishonorable early release by his captors based on his family legacy and endure five years of torture and solitary confinement.  

As parents, it is our responsibility to give our children an example to follow and an attitude to embrace.  Children don't get to choose the family or the circumstances that they are born into, but they do get to choose their attitude.  There were many times in John McCain's life when he resented the pressure of being the son and grandson of Navy Admirals.  His mother could have commiserated with him... she, no doubt, suffered greatly as the wife of a man who was away more than he was home and who was constantly in harms way.  But she didn't.  She taught him that his life was "interesting," not bad, "interesting."  Over time, this birthed in him an ability to see his circumstances as  temporal and his chosen attitude as permanent.  

As a little girl, my parents moved our family from Florida to Arizona.  We moved away from every family member and friend we knew.  We moved from a lovely, brick ranch home on acreage with a pond in the backyard and horses across the street to an aluminum mobile home in a trailer park in the desert.  You might think that as a child, I was devastated by the change.  I was not.  It was an adventure!  It was an adventure because my mother and father made it an adventure.  I vividly remember my mother telling me about the "chandelier" hanging in the dining room of our new home in Arizona.  (It was really a simple hanging light fixture, but because of my mother's excitement and description, it was a chandelier to all of us, and we couldn't wait to get to Arizona to see it.)  I remember as we drove across the county line in Arizona, as we crested a hill and the town we would be living in came into view, my father said with great pride, "Look!  The promised land!"  It was lovely, but it was a different kind of lovely than we had ever seen before... desert instead of forests, wide open spaces, sand and bright red rock formations instead of grass and lush greenery, a man-made lake instead of the Gulf of Mexico. In that moment, and for the rest of my childhood, however, there would be no comparing it to what we had known before, it was only "the promised land." 

As an adult I have moved many times and seen much of the country and I am grateful to my parents who gave me an example to live up to and an attitude to embrace, and now it is mine to pass on to my son.

Proverbs 22:6 KJV "Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it."
 
 
Timmy had a day off of school today, so he and I decided to drive to the next town over to do some shopping, and errand running, and movie watching, and eating together.  A mom-son date with a fifth grade boy is always an adventure... here are some of the highlights:
  • Me: "Tim, can you think of anything we need at the store?"  Tim: "Hmmm, a death ray!"  Me: "What?!"  Tim: "Don't worry, Mom, I would only use it to catch fish."
  • Me: "Should we eat at the Olive Garden for lunch?"  Tim: "Ooooh, yeah!  All the soup I can eat!  I hope that Thor is there."  Me: "Who is Thor?!"  Tim: "You know, the guy who says, 'I AM THE SON OF ODEN'"  Me: "Friend of yours?"  Tim: "Oh yeah, we go way back."  *smirks* "Mom, you are so weird."  Me:  "I am so weird????"  "Why would Thor be at the Olive Garden anyway?"  Tim: "Why wouldn't he be?"
  • After lunch at the Olive Garden, Tim made a comment that he was excited that he'd be taking the PSSA tests in Williamsport this year because some of his friends would be there.  He listed off their names (mostly girls), and said it would be "good to start a relationship."  I knew he meant it innocently, but I teased him that 10 years old was a little early to start a relationship and asked him when he expected to get married.  "Twelve," he joked.  I showed my displeasure by eating both of the Andes mints the waitress brought.  HA, that will teach him!
  • We went to the theatre to see Journey 2 and it was closed.. weird.  We drove across town to the other movie theatre in town and they were sold out!  Such is life.
  • We went to Barnes and Noble and Timmy chose a book in one minute flat.  Fastest. Trip. To. A. Bookstore. EVER.
  • We went to the grocery store and he sat in the car and read half the book while I shopped.  I told him to call 911 if anyone reached in the car window and tried to grab him.  He looked at me to see if I was kidding, then rolled the window up so no hands could reach in... just in case.  :)
  • We went to the mall and I had to convince him that he COULD in fact get his hair cut in a mall salon and he wouldn't leave looking like a girl.  He told the stylist that he didn't want any gel in his hair, but when he got home he asked if I would spike it for him.  (I love this kid.)
  • We bought him some new tennis shoes.  They are black and grey with NEON GREEN.  He kept checking with me to make sure I liked them and he was thrilled when he found out they were on sale.  (I've taught him well.)
  • We ran in to two of his friends in different places around town. he went out of his way to say hello to them.  (I really love this kid.)
  • We got home and he helped me unload the car without being asked.  
Pretty great date if you ask me.  
 
 
I am a good speller.  Nay, I am a GREAT speller!  I can't take any credit for this skill... it just always came naturally to me.  English words and the way letters come together to make them just clicks somewhere in my brain. I don't remember getting less than 100% on any spelling test, ever.  This brings me to my boy.  NOT a great speller.  The kicker... I have no clue how to help him.  Since my spelling skills were not honed by lots of repetition or practice, or hard fought, or learned from a brilliant teacher, I'm not sure how to impart them to someone else.  I suppose being a voracious reader and just being exposed to a lot of words might have been part of it, but for Pete's sake, my kid reads daily, and huge books to boot... somehow all that reading just isn't translating the same way into his brain as it has into mine.  
This morning we were both sitting on the couch with our laptops on our laps.  I was composing an email and he was writing an essay for his English class.  
Tim: "Mom, do you have to capitalize Wal-Mart since it is the name of a store?"  
Me, trying to disguise a sigh, "Yes."  
As he is typing in the word, his computer auto corrects it and adds in a hyphen between Wal and Mart where he had left one out.  
Tim: "What?!  That is stupid."  
Me: "What is stupid?" 
Tim: "The computer just added a hyphen."  
Me: "It isn't stupid, the word is hyphenated."  
Tim: "But it is stupid that it has a hyphen to begin with!"
Ahhh, now we are on to something.  I am thinking this issue with spelling has less to do with Timmy's skills and more to do with Timmy's attitude!  He wants things to make sense to him and when they don't he has no desire to just embrace the idiosyncrasy, make mental note of it for later, and move on.  He would rather just get frustrated and call it stupid and pretend like he'll never have to deal with it again.  
Hmmm, now THAT I can relate to!  Life doesn't make sense.  There are times when I run up against a situation and I'd really rather not learn from it.  I'd much rather just call it stupid and move on, pretending like it was a fluke and I'll never run into that type of situation again.  Perhaps Tim's problem (and mine as well), isn't with spelling, but rather with a teachable spirit.  Some things come easily and we enjoy learning them.  Other lessons don't make sense and are tough to submit to long enough in order to learn from them.  It isn't that we can't learn from it, or that it isn't worth learning from... it is a humility issue and a patience issue.  I think I know how to approach this one now.