The Ritzes 3.0

"God doesn't call the qualified; He qualifies the called."  Perhaps you've heard this catchy statement before.  I know I have heard it several times, and I always agree with it wholeheartedly when I do. I have certainly found myself in a variety of places in life where I felt completely inept and God used those times to humble me and show me what He can do in and through me with no "help" from me at all.  Those are always the sweetest times, and yet I tend to avoid them whenever possible!  I don't like feeling inept.  I REALLY don't.  I like being able to say things like, "I've got this," "No problem," and "I'll take it from here, don't worry about a thing!"  I hate having to say, "I have no idea," or "I wish I could help you, but I just don't know where to begin," or "I'm horrible at that."

What if, when the disciples had been called to follow Christ, when He told them He would make them fishers of men, what if they claimed their ignorance and ineptitude and insisted that he had the wrong guys.  Think about all they would have missed out on!  Equally as misguided though would have been if they said, "Sure, I'll follow you.  That is exactly the kind of thing I am good at.  No problem!"  When Christ called them, they experienced God and were used by God uniquely and powerfully, not because of their many gifts, but because of His; not despite their lowly estate but as a result of it.  Pride could have easily robbed them of the opportunity to be used by God just as easily as false humility could have.  Appropriate humility is being aware of your lowly estate, but not believing that it defines what God is capable of doing through you.  Appropriate pride is not being impressed with our own abilities or accomplishments, but being in awe of God's and boasting in what He is capable of in our lives and in the world.

"Brothers, think of what you were when you were called.  Not many of you were wise by human standards; not many were influential; not many were of noble birth.  But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong.  He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things - and the things that are not - to nullify the things that are, so that no one may boast before Him.  It is because of Him that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God - that is, our righteousness, holiness, and redemption.  Therefore as it is written: 'Let him who boasts boast in the Lord.'" - 1 Corinthians 26-31 (NIV)

If we take these verses to heart, then when we feel lacking in wisdom, when we feel foolish, when we feel weak, when we see ourselves as lowly or despised - it is time to thank Him and look for ways He might be using us or preparing to use us in the world.  These are the types of vessels He uses.  When we do not see ourselves in this light; when we think we've got what it takes - it may be time to step down and ask God to humble us before we walk down a path where He is not leading.  

"This is what God the Lord says - he who created the heavens and stretched them out, who spread out the earth and all that comes out of it, who gives breath to its people and life to those who walk on it: 'I, the Lord, have called you in righteousness; I will take hold of your hand. I will keep you and will make you to be a covenant for the people and a light for the Gentiles, to open eyes that are blind, to free captives from prison and to release from the dungeon those who sit in darkness.  I am the Lord; that is my name!  I will not give my glory to another or my praise to idols.'" - Isaiah 42:5-8 (NIV)

As a little girl, I was taught to say "please" and "thank you" and "excuse me."  I was taught to write thank you notes to those who had shown me kindness in some way.  I was told these things were considered good manners and that I should always "remember my manners."

As a mother, I try to pass on these same good manners to my son.  To me, however (as I am sure it was to my parents), it is far more important that he has a gracious and grateful heart than that he always says or does the right thing at the right time.  I want him to overflow with kindness and gratitude and thoughtfulness from a heart that appreciates the people in his life and the God who made not only him but also those around him.  This, however, cannot be taught... only caught.  We cannot teach our children's hearts.  We can only teach their minds and guide their behavior.  Their hearts are their very own... to pursue peace or to harbor anger, to develop selfless love or to pursue selfish desires, to extend mercy or to hold a grudge.  Only God and His Holy Spirit can penetrate the heart.  Any parent who has found themselves forcing a child to apologize to someone they have wronged knows this first hand.  He may have said the words, "I'm sorry," but his heart knows no repentance.  

I am, without a doubt, an advocate for insisting on the correct behavior even if the heart is not following suit, but I also think that we need to return to the heart issues again and again when the heat of the moment has passed.  Not because we can change a child's heart, but because we have to reiterate time and time again that which is most important.  We have to be careful to make sure our children do not get the idea from us that saying and doing the right thing all of the time is the most important thing.  We must always, ultimately, show them that the motivations of their hearts reign supreme in God's eyes.  

I don't want my son to grow up with a firm grasp on saying and doing the right thing, but with a heart that is lagging behind.  This means that I have to get a grip on my own motivations and model what I desire for him.  In her book, Kisses from Katie, Katie Davis writes about a time when she went to a restaurant on a Sunday afternoon in the Ugandan village where she lives and a 15yr old boy, John, was standing outside the restaurant waiting for her.  He had cut his foot on a bottle and was waiting for her to come to her usual Sunday lunch spot so that she could help him clean and bandage it and hopefully prevent infection.  Here is what she says, "As I handed  him the antibiotic and explained how to take it, I kind of wanted him to say thank you.  But as I looked in his eyes I knew why he hadn't thanked me: because this was expected.  He knew I would bandage his wound and give him medicine because that is what I do.  His trust was much better than a thank you."

If all that is important to us is saying and doing the right things, then we cannot serve others wholeheartedly.  Our spirits' will inevitably stumble when our brothers and sisters in the world do not "behave appropriately."  We will grow resentful and bitter because, "After all I do, she can't offer a simple 'thank you.'"  If the only reason we are doing the right thing is because "it is the right thing to do" and we feel a sense of obligation to do it, and not because we realize we are "poor, wretched, blind and needy," and have been saved by the most extraordinary grace that we now have the privilege to pass on to others, then we will inevitably get hung up when we don't get the appreciation we deserve for our "sacrifice."  Tragically, we will never realize the deeper gifts that God has for us, like Katie did.  

Dear God, Please soften our children's hearts as well as our own, and help us to model for them attitudes and motivations that will not only serve them well throughout their lives, but that will enable them to serve others well too.

I am a good speller.  Nay, I am a GREAT speller!  I can't take any credit for this skill... it just always came naturally to me.  English words and the way letters come together to make them just clicks somewhere in my brain. I don't remember getting less than 100% on any spelling test, ever.  This brings me to my boy.  NOT a great speller.  The kicker... I have no clue how to help him.  Since my spelling skills were not honed by lots of repetition or practice, or hard fought, or learned from a brilliant teacher, I'm not sure how to impart them to someone else.  I suppose being a voracious reader and just being exposed to a lot of words might have been part of it, but for Pete's sake, my kid reads daily, and huge books to boot... somehow all that reading just isn't translating the same way into his brain as it has into mine.  
This morning we were both sitting on the couch with our laptops on our laps.  I was composing an email and he was writing an essay for his English class.  
Tim: "Mom, do you have to capitalize Wal-Mart since it is the name of a store?"  
Me, trying to disguise a sigh, "Yes."  
As he is typing in the word, his computer auto corrects it and adds in a hyphen between Wal and Mart where he had left one out.  
Tim: "What?!  That is stupid."  
Me: "What is stupid?" 
Tim: "The computer just added a hyphen."  
Me: "It isn't stupid, the word is hyphenated."  
Tim: "But it is stupid that it has a hyphen to begin with!"
Ahhh, now we are on to something.  I am thinking this issue with spelling has less to do with Timmy's skills and more to do with Timmy's attitude!  He wants things to make sense to him and when they don't he has no desire to just embrace the idiosyncrasy, make mental note of it for later, and move on.  He would rather just get frustrated and call it stupid and pretend like he'll never have to deal with it again.  
Hmmm, now THAT I can relate to!  Life doesn't make sense.  There are times when I run up against a situation and I'd really rather not learn from it.  I'd much rather just call it stupid and move on, pretending like it was a fluke and I'll never run into that type of situation again.  Perhaps Tim's problem (and mine as well), isn't with spelling, but rather with a teachable spirit.  Some things come easily and we enjoy learning them.  Other lessons don't make sense and are tough to submit to long enough in order to learn from them.  It isn't that we can't learn from it, or that it isn't worth learning from... it is a humility issue and a patience issue.  I think I know how to approach this one now.