SPOILER ALERT - don't read this if you haven't seen the movie and plan on seeing it!!!

I went to see a movie today with a friend.  I had been delighted when I found out that she wanted to see the film too.  The previews hadn't made it look like a particularly uplifting movie, in fact I was almost certain tears would flow, but I was intrigued by the concept and my curiosity and an open afternoon finally collided.  I was right about the tears, but they didn't flow for the reasons I thought they would.  

Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close is a movie that takes place one year after September 11, 2001.  A boy with a condition that appears to be a mix of Aspberger's Syndrome and Tourette's Syndrom, loses his father on 9/11 ("the worst day")and a year later finds a hidden key in his father's closet and decides to find the lock that matches it in an attempt to keep his connection with his father alive.  While the subject matter itself is bound to make your eyes well up, the moment that really broke through my defenses happened an hour and forty-five minutes into the movie, after the boy has solved the mystery and realizes it wasn't even his father's key after all.  As he is coming to grips with this crushing disappointment, we find out that throughout his 3+ month quest to find the lock, as he knocked on door after door of stranger after stranger all over New York City, all the while feeling like his mother had emotionally withdrawn from him and didn't care about him, he makes a startling discovery.  He listens in awe as his mother tells him that out of her overwhelming love and concern for him, she had secretly gone through the hidden maps and treasures in his room until she figured out his plan.  Then she had set out to pave the way for her son and his quest, rather than preventing him from pursuing it.  To insure his safety, she had visited every address on the list that he had made and met with the strangers she encountered there to tell them that her precious son would be coming one day, looking for the mystery lock that would match his key.  She told them about his disabilities.  She told them about the profound loss he had experienced.  She begged them to be kind.

The boy was stunned to learn of her actions.  He had thought that only his father had been able to understand him in such a deep way, and that now that his dad was gone, he was fated to go through life ashamed and abnormal and misunderstood.  The realization that his mother had him figured out brought a sense of security back into his life, stronger than  he had previously possessed before "the worst day" happened.

As I think back on this movie and that powerful, sob-filled (mine) moment when  the mother's loving care was finally revealed, I can't help but reflect on the Lord and His unfathomable goodness to us, his children.  We go through life developing a certain level of assurance in something... a social status, a loving family, a job, a talent or intellectual capacity, a close friend... and one day, inevitably, our assurance is shaken to the core.  Either by loss, or betrayal, or a lifting of the blinders that we've worn revealing that the firm foundation we've built our identity and security on is at best shifting sand and at worst a trap door.  BUT GOD...

After our brutal awakening, as we grasp for whatever shreds of hope we can find and try to claw our way back to a feeling of assurance in this messed up world, we are prone to feel that our intangible God is cruelly unwilling or sadly unable to help us or to offer the same kind of assurance that our tangible earthly idol always had.  So we strike out on our own, looking for a way to get back what we've lost, or a close assimilation of it, or if that doesn't work then something that will numb us and make us forget it ever existed in the first place.  

All the while, God is working behind the scenes on our behalf - protecting us, providing for us, and preparing us for the day when we will find ourselves spent, with nothing to show for it.  That day, when we feel the most hopeless, the most devastated, the most disappointed and the most forgotten... that will be the day when we will finally be ready to look back and see Him for who He has been all along: The One who knew us best, who had a plan for us from the beginning that could never be thwarted by any earthly loss.  The One who is the true source of our assurance, who had granted us that precious family member, friend, talent, job, etc. - for a season - but that it was never meant to become an idol, distracting us from the Gift-Giver Himself.  THEN we will rejoice and REVEL in this new assurance, that the God of the universe never left our side and never will and that He understands us and knows us better than we know ourselves.  That He can and will meet our every need.

" And through your faith, God is protecting you by his power until you receive this salvation, which is ready to be revealed on the last day for all to see." I Peter 1:5 (NLT)
"If God is for us, who can be against us?" - Romans 8:31
 
 
Almost a week ago I read a blog entry by a missionary in Africa that I have been pondering ever since.  Of an elderly African woman who has endured far more than her fair share of suffering, she wrote:
"'I am so old. My whole body hurts. I have suffered much,' her eyes shine with joy as she speaks, 'oh, I am suffering. But whatever He wants. Whatever God wants!' And she laughs and she laughs...."

The missionary is trying to figure out how to adopt her African friend's mindset which is very foreign to her and as she grapples with it she goes on to say, "I live with these human eyes, and with these human eyes of mine I label. I label one thing as good and one thing as bad. I label moments as blessing or burden. And I forget that all this labeling, it is not my right, not my place, not mine to do. To declare what is a gift in my life and what is a curse is to eat from the tree of knowledge of good and evil, to sit in the garden full of abundance and beauty and choose the forbidden. The knowledge of good and evil, that was never intended for me....  Suffering, pain, loss, shame – all these things I have blamed on a broken world, Satan even. But can’t a broken world and even Satan only give what God allows? Suffering, pain loss and shame are only these things because I label them as such. Because I, a sinner, choose to eat from the tree, choose to turn away from nail-scarred hands and ignore the grace and miss the gift. He is beautiful and everything He creates is beautiful and if I choose to label it suffering I am choosing to miss the beauty that is freely offered me."

This shocked me and sobered me and disturbed me.  The things this African woman has faced in her life - all of her children, dead due to war and corruption - surely I am not to hesitate to label this as "bad" simply because I am not God and do not possess the entirety of His wisdom.  I have enough of His wisdom in the scriptures to know what God called "good."  The opening chapters of Genesis, God created everything pertaining to the Earth and called it good.  He created man and then surveyed everything He had made and called it "very good."  This is before sin entered the picture.  God's creation in its purest form = good.  Why would I ever label the effects of war, corruption, disease, or disaster as good?  God can bring beauty from ashes, but that doesn't make the ashes themselves beautiful.  

When I hear the woman laughing through pain and saying, "whatever He wants," I do not hear joy over her situation, for it is not a good one or a joyful one.  Rather, I hear a woman who is willing to endure unjust suffering without rebelling or blaming.  A woman who knows that God is in control and she is not.  

There is a difference between suffering for the cause of Christ and suffering due to the fallen state of the world.  Christ showed Paul, "all that he would have to suffer for his Name," (Acts 9:16).  This type of suffering happens because we are going against the grain of the world in obedience to God and it is good - it is very good.  If we do not experience this kind of suffering, we aren't following very hard after Him.  But watching a loved one waste away from cancer, seeing children sold as slaves, witnessing or living in extreme poverty due to injustice - God never called this good, and I think I have every right to call it evil, awful, horrible!    

God is allowing (not condoning) the corruption of His creation - FOR A SEASON - and during that season He is preserving His church by promising to work all things together for our good and His glory - even the evil, awful, horrible stuff.  We are not to despair or mourn as those who are without hope and we are not to whine or complain because He that is in us is greater than he that is in the world, but we gotta call a spade a spade!